Cold Light
by Cloudy Skies 77
Summary: The first rule you learn, in the academy, is to never show emotion. With a new organization plotting the downfall of the whole shinobi world, Shikamaru and Sakura have to learn that this mission isn’t a time for personal feelings to get in the way.
1. Chapter 1

Cold Light  
By: Sky Fairy 77

* * *

The town was just beginning to awake. The first few rays of the sun were bathing strips of the town in golden light, but the majority of town remained hidden. The thick mist hung in the air hiding the town beneath it. Slowly the dark smoke mingled with the mist veiling him from view, concealed beneath the gray clouds. 

His body was numb from the cold and the effects of the drug. He took another drag letting the smoke surround him.

_Numb… So numb…_

He gazed out in front of him from the hill. The trees were barren and brown. The grass was dead. He let out a sardonic laugh at the sight, pushing himself up from his seat on the hill. He threw down what was left of his cigarette letting it smolder on the ground. He gave the dead looking hill one last glance; it was lifeless except for the dying embers of the cigarette. Soon all that was left was the thin winding wisps of smoke. They too would soon disappear.

His feet hit the ground in firm clean strides. He glanced about his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His standard issue vest wasn't providing much warmth in the cool autumn morning. He felt so cold… so lost… He wondered through the streets in a haze taking the route back to his small beat up old apartment. Few people paid any attention to him as he walked one of two glanced in his direction but that was all. There were very few people out at this time of morning so he head no fear of seeing anyone he would know and having to deal with their lectures and concerns. As he turned the corner of a street that led him into his neighborhood he passed a young woman yawning deeply as she began to bring out her numerous numbers of plants. Gradually a song came to him and he began to hum the melancholy tune.

_In the cold light of morning when everyone's yawning  
__You're high_

As he rounded the corner the man disappeared from sight diving into the depths of the mist and the town.

* * *

_in the cold light of morning while everyone's yawning  
__**you're high  
**in the cold light of morning the party gets boring  
**you're high**  
as your skin starts to scratch and wave yesterday's action goodbye  
forget past indiscretions and stolen possessions  
__**you're high  
**in the cold... light _

* * *

cold light  
chapter 1: you're high

* * *

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

"Ugh… What time…" groaned the rosette haired medic glancing over at the clock. " 4:27! Who on earth would be here at this hour?" she groaned rolling into the softness of her pillow for one last time. Slowly she dragged herself out of the bed and making her way through her house to the front door. She felt cold, her thin pajamas didn't offer her much warmth and she was cursing whoever was at her door at this hour of the morning. She stomped through her apartment quite peeved at not getting her sleep after a particularly grueling day at the hospital.

"Haruno Sakura?" said the man before her when she flung open the door. He didn't seem to be surprised at the messy hair that was sticking up in every direction or the wrinkled pajamas that hung loosely from her body or her clearly visible goose bumps.

"Yes?"

"Hokage-sama has requested your presence immediately." He pulled a scroll from out of his standard issues Jounin vest handing it over to Sakura.

"Thank you." she said taking it from him. The messenger gave a half bow before he performed a series of hand signs and vanished from Sakura's sight. Sighing she pulled the door shut and turned her attention to the scroll in her hands.

She lay down on the bed so her legs were dangling over the edge. Sakura flipped the scroll around splitting the seal on it, allowing the seal flutter down to the ground. As she read the words on the page her eyes widen in horror, "Holy shit…" She let the scroll drop to the floor without another word and rushed to get ready.

* * *

"I'll need you to give this to the Kazekage when you…" Tsunade stopped mid-sentence when she heard the knocking on the door, "Come in." she called knowing exactly who would be walking in through the doors. "Ahh… Sakura I'm glad that you could join us." Tsunade motioned for her to sit down in the empty seat in front of her desk. 

"Good Morning Shishou, Naruto." Sakura gave a small smile towards her former teammate and her teacher.

"I'm assuming that you have read the scroll." Tsunade said taking a large sip of the sake that was sitting on the corner of her desk.

Sakura grew quiet and she stopped eying the sake bottle in a menacing way. Her face become serious and grave upon hearing the mention of the scroll, "Yes I have and frankly it's a bit frightening. I've been to many of those towns that were mentioned in it. Most of them don't even have shinobi living in them. They are peaceful villages! "

"Try going there now…" Naruto shook his head, "It was horrible, the whole area was dead. There wasn't a sole in sight. And some of those places had really good ramen too!"

"Clearly you both can understand the importance of the situation at hand. Sunagakure (1) has become an important ally of ours and I'll be damned if some new organization is going to try to destroy it and everyone living there." Tsunade took another sip of the sake, "That's why I'm sending you on a misssion to find out what is happening out there and if need be help defend Sunagakure. Sakura I'm placing you in charge as the leader for this mission."

"What me? But Shisou this sounds like something that Shikamaru-san's job. Isn't he in charge of leading the misssons like this?"

"Yes… Yes, he usually is, but I need you in charge of this mission."

"But why? I don't understand." Sakura protested.

"It's his smoking habit." Naruto said quietly, "It's been getting worse lately and he's mixing in some type of drug that he picked up someone. It's been impairing his jugement and he nearly killed himself on our last mission because of it. He isn't fit to lead a team anymore."

"Sakura, one part of your mission is to watch Shikamaru and the effects of that drug of his. He hasn't let anyone near it and I'm pretty sure that it is slowly destroying his body. You're the only one bysides myself who can indetify it. Normally I would have Shikamaru remain here but unfortunetly having him not come on this mission is a not an option considering his stragetic knowledge and his relationship with those in Sunagakure. I want you to keep an eye on him. His sitution is troubling me greatly."

"Alright I will try Shishou."

"I have already sent Shizune out to alert the members of your team about the mission. Your team will consist of yourself, Naruto, Nara Shikamaru, Hyuuga Neji, and Tenten. This is currently an A-rank mission. I have given Naruto the letter for the Kazekage to guard should anything happen. Alright you're both are dimissed. I have to finish this before Shizune comes back." She motioned towards the sake. "I will meet you by the gates in the morning 5 am sharp.

Sakura and Naruto left the room in a rather gloomy mood, the weight of the mission was already beginning to hang over them and it had not yet begun.

Naruto broke the silence of the halls speaking quietly "You know I sometimes wish I had one of those normal peaceful lives where you never had to deal with any of this shit." He said looking out the window, his usual cheery attitude completley absent.

"Yeah I know what you mean… But think of it this way, we both know you'd miss it."

Naruto shoved his hands deep into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders, "Who really knows." He let out a long sigh.

"Hey Naruto?" Sakura said looking at him worriedly.

"Yeah Sakura-chan?"

"You want to go out for ramen? I haven't eaten breakfast yet and I'm in the mood for ramen." Her face cracked into a smile watching the fox like grin spread across Naruto's face.

"Sakura-chan, you're on!" he cried giving her a great big hug. She laughed at his sudden change in attitude but she knew they both were still bothered by what lay ahead of them.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. And I placed this down here because I didn't want the story to be interrupted at all. 

AN: Well folks... Here is yet another Shika/Saku story for you. This is just introductory chapter explaining some things and basics. There will be a lot more explained in the upcoming chapters and I'm hoping to make them longer than this. I'm also trying to using the correct honorifics for this fic. I have not read the manga unfortunately so I'm not sure of all the details so I'll try to keep it as close as possible.

1) So this little footnote is due to the fact that I was trying to be correct in my usage in refering to the village hidden in the sand as Sunagakure. If I'm not using it correctly please let me know so I can fix it.

I'm currently having some issues with my descriptions… I don't think I'm doing a great job with this story so far so yeah…

Feed back is really important for me in this stage because it helps me to get a sense of where to go with the story. Constructive criticism is always welcome. I would like it if you didn't flame my stories but if you feel you have to be that crude about it so be it.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to update soon.

-Lin aka SkyFairy77 aka CloudSkies77


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: This chapter may contain adult themes!

* * *

Cold Light  
By: Skyfairy77

* * *

"Shikamaru open up!" tears were streaming down her face and her knuckles were bright red from pounding on the wooden door. "Shikamaru!" I know you are in there, open up! I saw you this morning come on I know you are home." Ino paused her face growing sad. She took a deep breath raising her hand back to the wood, "Shikamaru why… Shikamaru!" She leaned her head against the door her blonde bangs falling in front of her face, a steady stream of tears still remaining. "Please Shika… Please just open the door…" 

Shikamaru didn't move. He didn't blink. He didn't do anything. All he could do was watch the fading embers of this cigarette as they moved towards his fingers. He could hear Ino banging on his door, begging him to open up. He could see her tear stained face like that day so long ago. He didn't want to see her, he didn't want to think.

He wanted nothingness.

His head was pounding and it was becoming harder and harder to focus on the smoke and the embers, _the dying embers_. He could see them crying all over again. The hate, the self loathing, it was all rising up again, threatening to swallow him again.

Violently he shook his head pulling out bits out his hair with his hands. The images still flew by in his head.

_Time was running out if they didn't finish the fight soon they would be in real trouble. Think. Think. __**Fight…**_

'_You couldn't have known that his blood would bond them in life or death. You couldn't have known.' There was a trickle of blood running down the man's mouth. He was motionless and pale. There was just all that blood.  
__**Blood…**_

'_One is dead and the other, well he might as well be.'  
_'_He killed the murderer didn't he?'  
_'_Yeah, now he's just a empty shell of a being. He is hollow.'  
__**Hollow…**_

'_I haven't seen him in weeks. I'm worried. He isn't taking any of this well. He is so empty. It's like he's not there. He is just empty.'  
__**Empty…**_

'_One stabbing motion. It's all it would take. One quick thrust.' The metal was cool against his skin. 'Just a little more pain.' The metal cut the surface of the flesh, letting loose a torrent of crimson liquid.  
__**Just a little more pain…**_

'_Why are you doing this… You are killing yourself! We've already lost enough stop doing this! PLEASE STOP!' He watched the tears flow from their faces like little waterfalls. He wondered had he cried yet. His hand brushed his face but there were no tears.  
__**Tears…**_

_They were all dressed in black. Black. Lifeless. There were tears shed, crying all around. He skipped the rest of the morbid event. He couldn't stand to be at his friend's funeral.  
__**His funeral…**_

'_They say she is pregnant with his child.'  
_'_That poor thing to grow up all alone without a father. It is such a waste…'  
_'_They would have made a good family.'  
_'_I here none of his team is around to even help, they all split.' The lady snorted, 'So much for all that loyalty.'  
__**All good things must come to an end... **_

Bile began to rise up his throat. 'Make them go away! Make them go!' he was screaming inside his head. 'MAKE IT STOP!' he doubled up on the floor a few drops of liquid slipping from his eyes. He stayed like that for a while on the floor in a ball shaking uncontrollably.

There was a light thud and his eyes were alert, shooting up in the direction of the door. Outside Shikamaru's apartment Ino had given one last solid knock to the door "Shikamaru please…" she whispered for the last time in the hope that he would open up.

Shikamaru stared at the door. Their pain had always been half of what his was, it was guiltless. It didn't haunt them like it did him. It was always hanging around him like a shadow or a cloud, the two things most associated with him. It was corrupting his soul, it was so black and empty… But despite the blackness, the emptiness, which was living in his soul, a piece of light still remained and he knew this.

It wasn't hope. Hope was for naïve young fools who dream too much. They haven't been touched, they haven't been jaded by the world. They live in innocence. 'I am not them… It's my fault…' All he had left was friendship. The rest of him was dark. That was the only thing left for him to hold on to was friendship.

"_Hey Naruto, it's better for me to die and let one of you live a good life, now stay here." _

If you turn your back on a friend or on your ally, you were no better than dirt. Asuma had stressed that. Kakashi had too. The whole world stressed that idea and here he was blindly ignoring it. He knew it was wrong and that he should have answered the door for Ino but he didn't want to. Shikamaru knew that he only caused the poor girl more pain with the way he was living, but this was the only way he knew now. It was the only way to live.

"Go to her Shikamaru." He looked up and he could see Asuma smiling there pointing to the door.

"This isn't real!"

"Go to her." He faded slowly from sight.

Shikamaru sat there just staring at the point where the image had been moments before. He couldn't decide what to do. He was in such a haze and now he was hallucinating to make matters worse. The rational side of him was screaming at him to do something anything but his body didn't seem to want to move.

There was the click of heals against cement. His eyes snapped up to the door. His body moved without thinking taking Asuma's advice over Shikamaru's own desires to do nothing. He ran to the door the bile in his throat threatening to rise up again from the sudden movements. Shikamaru felt staggeringly dizzy and he clamped a hand over the door knob firmly steadying himself. He took a deep breath and flung open the door.

Ino was standing a couple of feet away from his door and she was still walking away. Her steps were slow and small. A very good sign that she was upset. "Wait Ino!" he called out a bit hoarsely.

It was like watching a scene from a movie. She slowly turned her bright blue eyes widening in shock. Her hands went to mouth and she gasped in shock. "Shikamaru?" She starred at him before running over to him and pounding on his chest. "You stupid stupid idiot!" she kept hitting him again and again.

She eventually stopped hitting him, her arms falling lightly down to her sides and she just sobbed into his chest. Awkwardly he wrapped his arms around her. "Shhhh Ino. It's okay. It's okay. I'm here now." He stroked her hair gently until her sobs subsided. "Here come on let's go inside." He grabbed one of her hands and slowly brought her inside leading her to the couch in his small living room. "I'm going to go make us some tea, is that okay?" he asked giving her a small smile. She nodded her head.

Ino started to cough uncontrollably after being in the room for a few minutes. The apartment smelled sickly sweet and she couldn't understand why. The smell was making her head spin and she felt sick. Ino flung open a window letting fresh air sweep into the room. When she turned around that's when she saw it. Ino felt the horror rise up within her and she moved to the small end table. There was a neat pile of cigarettes on the top of it, an old picture of their team, Asuma's prized silver lighter, and a faint trace of a white powder there. Her heart stopped. It didn't take a genius to know what white powder meant. All you had to do was watch a few movies and you know what it was, and it sure as hell wasn't baby powder.

There was the clatter from in the kitchen and the sound of Shikamaru's foot steps heading towards her. She rushed back to her seat on the sofa jumping over the coffee table that was blocking her way. "I'm sorry I can't offer you any food I haven't been out to the market yet. Too troublesome to go right now." He took the seat opposite her taking a long sip from his cup of tea.

Ino studied him wondering if he really was okay. He didn't have any visible signs of injuries but mentally… She wasn't so sure and that was what worried her. "Hey Shikamaru?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you doing alright?" her voice and face were filled with concern.

He knew that she had guessed what was wrong with him and was trying to pump him for information but that wasn't going to happen. He was 5 steps ahead of her in this game. He already had formulated a plan while he was in the kitchen. It was taking all of his energy and will power to complete it. "Yeah perfectly fine, a little sleep deprived now that you mention it, but otherwise in good health and sound mind. Missions just take a lot out of you." he joked. Ino stared at him in silence for a moment, taking advantage of her silence he switched the conversation, "So what about you? How's Sasuke?" he asked looking at her and taking another long sip of the tea.

"Oh we are both great. He's helping Iruka-san with the kids at the academy this month so he's been around a lot. It's really nice to have him around for a change. You all get sent on missions so much any more."

"Ahh yes, well that's the call of duty for you. Speaking of which, I hear Chouji was in town on official business."

"Oh yeah he was!" Ino's face brightened considerably with the mention of her other teammate. Shikamaru's face drew into a small smirk. He knew mentioning Chouji would mean that Ino would forget all about her quest for information and would focus on talking about Chouji instead since she missed him a lot. It's not like he minded though, he missed his best friend as well. "You should see him now! He's so tall Shikamaru! It was so great seeing him again. He's not visiting for another 3 months though." Ino pouted looking at him her disappointment clear.

"Well you always could visit him sometime." He suggested knowing that's what he had being meaning to do for the past year and a half but just had never gotten around to it. Too many distractions and missions were keeping him away from it. 'Though one of these days I really should go and visit.'

"Oh Shikamaru that's a great idea! You should come too! I'm sure Chouji would love to see you. It's been so long since the three of us were all together. Not since…" her voice trailed off at the sound of knocking on the door.

"Would you excuse me Ino I have to get the door."

"Oh yeah sure. Take your time."

Shikamaru walked to the door letting his perpetual scowl reappear on his face. It was hard to pretend that he was living a "happy" life where he wasn't on the verge of insanity. He took a long deep sigh looking at the door. His hand twisted around the cool metal doorknob turning it around and lightly pushing up the door.

"Shikamaru-san."

"Shizune-san"

"Hokage-sama has requested you presence on another mission." Shizune handed over the scroll to Shikamaru.

He pulled out a kunai from his vest slicing the seal on it, letting it to flutter to the floor. His dark chocolate eyes began to read the contents of the scroll. It seemed to be pretty standard looking like a follow-up mission to his last. Investigate the disappearance of the towns surrounding Sunagakure, report to the Kazekage upon reaching Suna, and invesigate the organization that is behind all of this. "Everything seems to be fine."

"You will meet the rest of your team at the west gate at 0600 hours."

"Shizune-san may I ask why I'm not being informed by the Hokage herself for this mission briefing?

Shizune's face paled for spilt second as she tried to come up with an excuse of why Shikamaru was no longer the leader for this mission. Shizune's response hadn't gone unnoticed by the shadow-nin and he was starring at her suspiciously. "Well Tsunade-sama has decided to place Sakura in charge of this mission. You'll have to take the specific reasons up with her. Now if you'll excuse me." She performed a series of hand signs before disappearing in a puff of smoke, similar to how Kakashi would to avoid a sensitve subject.

Shikamaru stared out the door for a minute. His brain was still registering that he wasn't in charge of this mission. Then the anger came. It just burst from him filling all of his senses. He slammed the door as hard as he could making it shake in its frame and the walls surrounding it. Ino came rushing into the entrance way scared that something bad had happened. She immediately noticed her friends balled up fists that were shaking. "Shikamaru what's wrong? Who was at the door?" Ino tried to reach out him but he slapped her hand away.

"Just out of here." he growled.

"What…?" she said in shock looking at him.

"Just get the hell out of my house now!" he yelled at her, his face contorted and livid.

Ino didn't need to be told twice. He had a monstrous look in his eyes and it was scaring her to death. She left the house without another word. As she walked down the row of apartments she heard a crash and a frustrated cry. "Oh god Shikamaru…" she gave one last worried look before heading down the steps. She held her hand to her mouth trying to stop the new muffled sobs. Ino knew there was only one person who could help her but she wasn't going to be willing to help. 'Oh god... Why is this happening?'

* * *

Sinking down into the chocolate arm chair Sakura leaned back, her mind deep in thought. There was something about the mission that didn't feel right, that wasn't meshing. It all seemed so ominous, gloomy, and something was just plain wrong with it. Her frustration level had been rising all day and all she wanted to do was pulled on her short tresses and scream at something. 

"Why me?" she groaned to the ceiling wishing it would answer for her. She let out a deep sigh. She didn't want any of this she just wanted a normal escort mission or something at this point. Hell she would even take a D-rank genin mission at this point. "Maybe that cat oh what was its name… Fluffy! Maybe he's escaped again and I could ask Tsunade-shishou for the mission. Yeah that is what I'll do… If I was twelve again." Groaning Sakura stood up making her way to the coffee maker on the counter. She watched at the coffee fell into the pot in small drops. 'It's just like sand…' Her mind drifted away from the dark liquid to sand then to her friends.

_Gaara… Temari… Kankuro… _

Sakura took her keys out of her pocket. She held them up fingering the small wooden doll attached to the metal ring. As she looked at it she could feel her determination growing, "I won't let any of you down. I will be a kick ass leader and those punks are going down!" Sakura punched the air in triumph. She grabbed the coffee pouring it into her favorite mug that she had gotten from Shizune for Christmas a few years back. She sank back into her comfy air chair to enjoy her coffee.

Sakura nearly dropped the steaming cup when she heard a loud knocking on the door. "What is with people today? Why won't they let me have a simple cup of coffee!" she stomped over to the door and threw it open. "What do you want!" she demanded her hands planted firmly on her hips. Her eyes widen in recognition as she saw the figure before her. "You!" she cried out pointing.

"Hello Sakura."

"Ino…" The blonde stood before Sakura looking the same as she always did. Skimpy outfits, same terrible haircut, and that same arrogant attitude. Sakura struggled for the right words. Sakura was officially pissed off and she sure as hell wasn't going to invite Ino in for a cup a tea. That would be the last thing that Sakura would ever do. "What the hell do you want." She snapped as soon as she had found her voice.

"Is that any way to treat an old friend?"

"Ino correct me if I'm wrong, but you haven't been a friend of mine in over 2 years now. So don't make me repeat myself for a second time, what the hell do you want?"

Ino shrugged giving Sakura a masked sort of look, "Nothing really. I just came to talk."

"You came just to talk?" Sakura stared at her incredulously wondering if Ino was terminally stupid or whether someone had given her an extra dose of stupid pills today. "You came just talk to me and you except me to reciprocate after what you did? No… I'm not buying it and I'm not hearing it." Sakura began to shut the door in Ino's face. Screw politeness Sakura was too pissed for that.

Ino's hand shot out grabbing the edge of the door before Sakura had completely shut it. "Fine I didn't come here to talk. I need your help." she reluctantly admitted.

Sakura opened the door a little more so she could see Ino again. "Oh that's rich! That's just rich! You are asking me for help. That's rich." Sakura began to laugh her head off. "And why the hell should I help you, hmm? Why? If I remember correctly I asked you for help and you screwed me over. Why should I even consider helping you?"

Ino stayed quiet for a few moments looking down at the ground. Then she looked up at Sakura, "He's all I have left."

Sakura had sworn that Ino was talking about Sasuke, but the look on Ino's face. She knew it only too well after years of wearing it herself. Sakura knew who Ino was referring to. Sakura bit down on her lip looking at Ino. It was going against her better judgment but… "Fine I'll listen to you. But there is no guarentee I'll help _you_."

"What?"

"Don't make me repeat myself, pig. I said I'd help you. Though you really deserve to rot in some corner of hell." Sakura walked back into her house. 'I'm really gonna need that cup of coffee about now.' She turned around and saw Ino had yet to enter the house. "Well are you coming or not?" Sakura demanded tapping her foot out of impatience.

"Coffee?" Sakura asked motioning to the kitchen. Ino shook her head. Sakura shrugged her shoulders and poured herself a new warm mug full. "Your loss." Sakura resumed her position in the comfy brown armchair. "So how can I help you?"

"Well.. it's about Shikamaru." Ino stated slowly.

"I got that much." Sakura commented bluntly eyeing Ino.

"Oh… Well it's just he's the last of my team left. Asuma well… you know and then Chouji moved to Tea. All that's left is Shikamaru and well as of late he's been behaving very strangely. He's more of a recluse lately, he's uptight and agitated. His neighbors have been complaining of loud crashes, yelling, and strange smells. He's also been showing signs of violence."

Sakura rubbed her temples. 'This mission is getting harder and harder.' "What do you mean by violent? Like attacking people, outbursts, or just general destruction?"

"I would say general destruction at this point. Shizune stopped by his place this morning with details for a new mission and there was something about it he must have not liked because he completely flipped out. I'm pretty sure after I left he destroyed his whole apartment."

Sakura rubbed her temples again she could just feel the migraine coming, "Did he have any unusual things in his apartment?"

"Yeah white powder and cigarettes."

"God… They are always the difficult ones…"

"What?"

"Nothing Ino. Nothing."

"Sakura so will you do something? He's the only one who I have left. You should know better than anyone else how I feel, since Sasuke left you al…"

Sakura always had considered herself a reasonable person and pretty darn rational. Cleary letting Ino into her house was a mistake. Everyone knew that there were certain taboo subjects and that happened to be one of them. "Get out." Sakura said her eyes burning and her mouth drawn into a thin line.

"But Sakura!"

"Just get the hell out of my house Ino. I'll help Shikamaru, but no for you, for him. Now get the fuck out of my house before I force you out!" Ino didn't need to be told twice, she had already been kicked out from one apartment it wasn't hard to get the message from the second.

As soon as she heard the click of the door that's when it started. Sakura let it all out. She couldn't stop crying; the tears kept flowing. Her body was shaking wildly and it just hurt so much. There was a reason she hadn't seen Ino in two years. There was a reason why Sakura avoided her like the plague. There was a reason… It hurt too much. It just hurt. Sakura flipped the coffee table over sending it flying and watching it break into a million pieces. Glass flew in every direction. Picking up a piece she stared at it for a while, feeling the sharp jagged edge with her finger tips. Slowly she brought the glass to her skin and brought it across in a slow motion.

* * *

It felt like he was hung over… His head was pounding, his apartment was strewn with glass, and he was still in his clothes from yesterday. "Damn it…" Shikamaru groaned pulling himself on to the arm of the couch. "Talk about feeling like shit." He threw off his shirt letting it land in the corner of the room. Shikamaru slowly dragged himself into the bathroom and took a spot on the sink after he had turned on the water in the shower. Slowly he pulled his shorts and boxers off his aching body letting them fall to the floor in a pile. The water felt heavenly and the aches and pains all over his body were beginning to dissipate. He sank down against the wall of the shower letting himself be covered by the water. "I just want to stay like this for a little longer." He said before shutting his eyes and concentrating on the small beads.

* * *

She rubbed the towel through her hair trying to dry the excess water from it. Sakura sat on the edge of her bed looking at the nightstand beside it. It was plain made from a dark walnut wood. On the top sat a simple plain lamp, her alarm clock, and a single picture. She picked up the picture tracing the outlines of the people in it. The people in the photograph all looked so happy, but not anymore. They were a broken team. She let a tear slip down her face landing on the frame, "Sasuke-kun…" She placed the photo back down on the nightstand and gave her room one last glance before she left for the mission. The clock read 5:13 but Sakura didn't mind, she had too much to think about. She turned off all the lights in the house and it fell silent and dark. She squeezed the strap of her bag a little tighter as she shut her door and locked it. "I'll be back in a few months..." 

Sakura flew from roof top to roof top her pink hair flying out behind her whipping around in the wind. The sun was just beginning to rise over the tops of the roofs and it was bathing the village in a warm light. Sakura's mood improved and her anxieties began to die down a little, taking the sunrise to be a good omen. As she reached the last roof top she sprinted forward and jumped into the air doing a series of flips and landing perfectly on the ground.

"Yo Sakura!"

The pink hair medic snapped her head in the direction of the voice. A grin spread across her face and she ran over to the man giving him a great big hug. "Welcome back Kakashi-sensei!"

"Nice to be back Sakura. So what are you doing up this early in the morning?" he asked leading her towards a bench to talk more.

"Mission in about a half an hour. I just got here a little early. I wanted some time to think before I left."

"I see." He gave her a smile, "So any chance of you telling me about this mission of yours?"

"No." Sakura crossed her arms in defiance, "You know that I can't tell you about missions. They are classified." She put emphasis on the last word on the sentence.

"Aww but Sakura you know I'll find out one way or another it's all just a matter of time. You do realize this?"

Narrowing her eyes Sakura studied her sensei trying to figure out if he was being serious or not. Deciding that he was being serious Sakura began to tell him about it, "Alright fine… But say I don't ever do anything for you." She threw him a quick glare, "It's currently an A-rank mission investigating the threats to Suna and the massacres of the towns surrounding Sunagakure. I'm the leader of a 5 man team including myself. It consists of Naruto, Tenten, Neji-san, and Shikamaru-san. We are to scout the area and learn what we can and then report to Gaara." Kakashi noticed the grim look on her face and the long sigh she let out. He knew that whatever she was about to say was clearly troubling her. "In addition to the misson I just explained I have been given the task of watching Shikamaru-san's condition and keeping him off those drugs of his."

"Nara is doing drugs?" Kakashi looked a little shocked by this information.

"Yeah… According to Naruto he's been on them for some months. He does let anyone near them and if you bring it up he'll become quite angry. He's showing signs of addiction and it's interferring with his missions. Tsunade-shishou normally would not send anyone in his condition out on a mission but this is a pretty big one so…" her voice trailed off.

"I see… This is unexpected though not surprising really."

"Why is that Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi looked down at his former student with a sad smile, grabbing her wrist he held it up before her face and said, "Each of us have our own ways of dealing with pain, loss, and suffering. Some of us more constructive than others." He let her wrist fall back to her side.

"So you noticed that, huh?"

"Yes I did Sakura but I knew what I was looking at when I saw you. I thought you had stopped."

Sakura couldn't stand to see that look in Kakashi's face so she looked away towards the forest. "I had…" she spat bitterly. "Ino came to see me yesterday…" Sakura struggled with the words trying to find the right ones, "She wanted me to help Shikamaru. I guess seeing her brought up all the negativity again and it just was tempting. I was just so angry and confused it seemed like a good idea about how to forget, you know? My apartment is completely trashed now though… Guess that's what I get." Sakura was trying hard to hold it all together and not cry she was trying to keep her happy mood up but it was hard. "And the worst part about it was," the tears had finally started to flow and her words were becoming muffled, "I said I would help! I said yes!"

Kakashi wrapped her arms around the sobbing girl, "It's okay Sakura. It's okay. Just let it all out. They stayed like that until Sakura's sobbing had become the occasional hiccup. Kakashi stared out at the village looking over towards the sunrise, "You know, Sakura, just because you decided to help her doesn't mean that it's not the right thing to do. I'm really proud that you said yes. It shows that you're a true friend and medic." He gave her hair a ruffle, "I'm going to go now Sakura. I can hear Tsunade-sama (1) and Naruto coming and I'm not about to deal with her wrath this early in the morning for coming back from that mission late." He gave her one last hug, "Don't die while you're gone, I don't want another reason to be late."

"I promise Kakashi-sensei. I promise."

"I'll see you in a few months." He gave a quick wave and then jumped away leaving Sakura on the bench.

Sakura could hear Tsunade and Naruto now and she was shocked that the whole village hadn't woken up yet from the racket that they were making. 'I bet Gaara can hear them all the way in Suna.' Knowing that the two blondes would be there any minute Sakura wiped her eyes and tried to look presentable but truth be told her heart wasn't in it right now.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto was running towards her and waving wildly. "Sakura-chan!"

"Hi Naruto." Sakura gave a small wave in return.

"I can't wait for the mission to start. I so want to kick those guys' asses!" he punched the air in excitement.

Sakura couldn't help but smile a little at her teammate's antics. Turning her head towards Tsunade, Sakura offered up a greeting. "Morning Shishou."

"Good morning if you really could call it that." Tsunade rubbed her temples a few times and Sakura immeadiately knew that Tsunade was hung-over.

'Nice one Shishou… Nice…'

"Yo!" Shikamaru walked up the lane his hands stuffed into his pockets looking as laid back as always.

The on the road opposite Shikamaru, Tenten and Neji were walking up it talking happily together.

Tsunade spoke up, "Well since everyone is here, I guess it's time to get started."

'I had a bad feeling when Tsunade-shishou said those words. It was the kind of dread you would get when Iruka-sensei would pass out all of the written tests and you weren't sure you did too well on them. My gut was telling me that this mission would be harder than it looked.'

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the song I used by Placebo in the first chapter. 

AN: Well folks it took forever to write the second chapter and I had to actually rewrite it several times. I'm not sure if I liked how this came out… but I think its ok… I'm currently having issues with the rating for this story because as it stands right now we have a lot of swearing, drug usage, some drinking, and cutting… And those aren't exactly little kid themes… So I can't figure out if the story should be rate T or M… so I'm going to stick a warning on this chapter and then if it does need to be raised I'll raise it.

Umm what else to say… Well no promises on when the next chapter will be up because I'm starting school in another 2 weeks and have all of my summer homework to do and then on the 3rd day of school I have to take my first major exam for AP history. Plus I have a lot of personal issues that are happening right now and I'll be starting physical therapy for my foot soon and my life is just a mess but none of you want to here about this so I'll be signing off.

Ja ne!

Lin aka Skyfairy77 aka Cloudskies77

Oh also constructive criticism is always welcome actually its more like loved! As well as any comments you have.

* * *

1: I'm not sure what honorific is used when referring to Tsunade. I looked through several stories and I found –sama to be a common one so I went with this but I don't know if this is right.

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Review Responses: 

Thanks to all the 80 people who read the first chapter and all the people who added me to their story alert list and for the C2 add.

makin13: Thank you for the review! I hope this update was soon enough for you.

crazyevilgirl: Thank you for the review! Oh I totally understand what you mean. I hope that this wait wasn't too long for you.

Dolphingirl32173: I had to admit I laughed when I saw your review. They are always so unique. - Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you like the story I'm not sure whether it's written too well but I'm still trying to figure that out. So as to your question I know very little about drugs despite the fact that my health class was about the same thing as "Recreational Drug Use 101." So what drug did I put Shikamaru on… Well it is not crack I can tell you that because then Shika-kun would be really really happy and well bouncing off the walls doing crazy stuff. So I'm gonna say its more similar to pot though it is his own special mixture.

And to Shika-kun you'll be off of them in another couple of chapters.

Starlight - Wild Koneko: Thank you for the review! I can't wait to read more of your story too! I haven't had time to review but I absolutely adore it.

Silent Kunoichi aka. Fiona: Thank you for the review and I hope you didn't wait too long.

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	3. Chapter 3

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Cold Light  
By: SkyFairy77 aka CloudSkies77

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"I'm assuming that you all have read the mission report by now." Tsunade watched as the group all nodded their heads. "Good, then there is no need to stress how important this mission is. If our suspicions are correct we might be facing yet another Great War. There have been too many attempts at creating wars lately. Sakura is in charge as you all know, if you have a problem with her leadership or anyone else on the team speak up now." She glanced around at their faces; all tired, worn but they were determined. "I will expect you to reach Suna within a week and a half. If I don't get word by then I will alert the hunter-nins." Tsunade sighed tugging on her coat draping it around her tighter, "Good luck to all of you. I'll except to see you in a few months."

Sakura gave Tsunade a last look of determination, "Let's head out!" with a blur of pink Sakura was already disappearing into the woods. The others followed one by one. None of them looked back at their home before they left. They all knew it would be many months before they would be able to come back.

As the group disappeared Tsunade looked towards one of the large pine trees a few meters away, "Do you think they'll be alright?"

Kakashi emerged from the depths of the branches his face somber, "They are the best of the best after all."

"I know but I can't shake this feeling." Tsunade sighed and began to walk away from the gate. She paused looking back, "I expect your report by the end of the day or else."

Kakashi nodded his head in understatement "Alright. I'll finish it."

"Good." Tsunade walked into the clouds of mist that were covering the village.

"Be safe Sakura." Kakashi gave a small smile but it was forced. There was an ill-fated cloud surrounding the mission and they all knew it.

* * *

The group slowed down their pace to a light jog, they had put enough distance between themselves and the village gate to afford such a luxury. "We won't be forming a formation until we are at least ¾ of the way through the woods. Tsunade-sama guaranteed that there would be patrols for that far. From there on out we are on our own."

"Isn't better if we did form some sort of formation now though." Shikamaru inquired as he studied Sakura's face.

"No, not now. It would not be a productive use of time."

He scowled, "Then what would be? Just running forward without a plan."

Sakura shot him a glare, "Shikamaru-san if you had a problem with the way I do things then I suggest you turn back now and tell Tsunade-sama that this mission was a complete failure."

Shikamaru broke eye contact stopping the war that was going on between them. "Troublesome…" he grumbled and fell silent. His gaze falling away to the ground. But there was a lingering tension between the two.

Sakura forced a smile and jumped ahead so that she was in step with Tenten's strides, "Hey! How you holding up lately?"

"Ehh… Fine I guess a lot of late nights. Gai-sensei keeps getting himself drunk and no one seems to be able to handle him. I keep getting called out in the middle of the night to drag his sorry ass back home. One of these days though…" The two girls laughed.

"How about you Sakura?"

"Been better. The hospital has been so packed lately that I haven't been able to leave it at all. I only get short temporary missions out in the field anymore or D-ranked ones which are basically just errands for Tsunade-sama."

"That's life for you isn't it?"

"Yeah it is. How's Hinata doing? I don't really see her anymore since she's always with Ino."

"Yeah that's quite a pair…"

"What would you expect with the two of us not talking to her?"

"True. Hinata's hanging in there. She's been busy lately her father is monopolizing her time."

Neji butted in, "Yes, Hiashi-sama has been keeping Hinata-sama quite busy with various tasks. After her new burst of confidence and strength, he has come to feel that Hinata-sama should take over the clan upon his retirement or death."

"Good for Hinata! It's about time she got recognition for her skills. But Neji-san aren't you bothered by the fact that you are not a candidate for the new clan leader."

"No. It doesn't bother me Sakura-san. I decided long ago that such a position was not for me."

"I see," Sakura turned around and looked back towards Naruto who had been unusually quiet and was lacking his cheery air, "Yo Naruto!" His head shot up as Sakura called his name, "You alive back there?"

"Yeah Sakura-chan, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm just a little tired that's all."

"Alright if you say so."

* * *

The group continued to talk quietly. Shikamaru, Neji, and Naruto had struck up a conversation about the upcoming Chunnin exams. Sakura and Tenten were busy catching up on the various pieces of gossip that were spreading around the village. The feeling of impending doom was still lingering in the air but for the most part had disappeared.

Naruto excused himself from the conversation he was having and jumped to catch up with Sakura. "Sakura?"

"Naruto, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."

"Yeah of course you can." She smiled a bit for Naruto. Tenten jumped back and struck up a conversation with Shikamaru and Neji while the two former teammates were talking.

"Well you see… It's kind of hard to begin… but well… Why do you never talk to Sasuke anymore?"

Sakura's face darkened and a strong scowl was stretched across her face. "What did you say?" she hissed dangerously.

"Well it's just that you and Sasuke are like family to me and having the two of you not talk is hard."

Sakura didn't speak for a moment and starred ahead into the darkness of the forest. "Do you know what it felt like to see your fiancé come back with your best friend?"

"No…"

"You wouldn't know! That's right!" Sakura napped venom dripping from her words.

"I know Sakura but couldn't you try to talk to him."

"He had plenty of time to talk. Clearly he didn't use it. Clearly it wasn't that important to him"

"But Sakura…"

"No don't but Sakura me!" Shikamaru's, Neji's and Tenten's eyes shot towards Naruto and Sakura. "You have no idea what I went through once he came back! You weren't betrayed twice by the person you love! You have no idea how I feel!" Sakura took deep steadying breaths in order to calm herself down. "You wouldn't fucking know what its like! He continues to stab me in the back. Sasuke is dead to me and nothing will change that! So just drop the fucking subject and leave me alone!" Sakura gave Naruto a pained look tried not to let the tears gathering in her eyes fall. A small burst of charka was sent to her feet and Sakura sped off far away in front of the others.

"What did you do Naruto?" Tenten asked a concerned look plastered across her face.

Naruto calmed up, "Nothing… Just nothing…" he didn't say another word.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru watched as the little band of men before him began to fall apart. At the rate which things were going the mission would fall apart because of personal feelings. He let out a sigh and fished around in his pocket for another cigarette. "Damn…" Shikamaru kept looking but couldn't find one. This was a problem for him. The twitch in his hand was growing. He needed a drag now. He didn't want to hear other people's soap operas. It was all just too troublesome for him to deal with.

* * *

'_**You're so weak.' **_Inner-Sakura reprimanded.

'Shut up! Just shut up!'

'**What? It's not like I'm the one who's moping around over Sasuke.'**

'I am not moping! You should know better than anyone what I am feeling right now.'

'**Yeah well I think you're being a **_**pansy**_**. He still is torturing you and you haven't even seen the guy. Sheesh… Talk about pathetic.' **

'You're me! You're supposed to be on my side!' Sakura struggled to find more words to fight back her inner's arguments. 'Well…' As Sakura's foot hit the next branch there was a large crack and Sakura was sent flying through the air. As she fell her mind growing blank and everything seemed to be growing black. The last thing she heard were the strangled cries of her friends.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Even though I wish I did.

AN: I deserve to be shot for such a late update... but for those of you who follow my works well you know i'm terrible with updates during the school year. So I'd like to apologize profusely for the LATE update. It hopefully won't happen again... I did run into some computer problems along the way... I crashed my computer 3 times... and lost my progress. I'm in the midst of writing the 4th chapter and I'm trying to do a nice job developing it. So next chapter a lot of Shika/Saku interaction though not fluff filled yet.

So yeah... Happy Holidays! ummm think that's it... OH i edited the 2nd chapter and got rid of a lot of mistakes so hopefully it flows better now.

Ja ne!

Lin aka SkyFairy77 aka CloudSkies77

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Review Responses: 

Thanks to all the people who read the various chapters and all the people who added me to their story alert list and for the C2 adds and the favorite story adds!!!!!! -

Starlight - Wild Koneko: Thank you for your review! Ahh I see you noticed that Shika and Sakura both have similar ways of dealing with pain. That's gonna be important later.

shikakunsbabygirl: Thank you for the review! I agree with you there. If the romance is rushed too much then the story can seem unorgranized so I'm trying to develop the relationships more before I can get to write the fluff. Hopefully you liked this chapter!

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	4. Chapter 4

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Cold Light

By: CloudSkies77

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"She shouldn't be in charge!"

"You have no right to say that! You are judging her too harshly."

"Oh come on. She doesn't have the skills or the talent for it. The field is far different than a safe clean hospital ward."

"You're being unreasonable."

"No I am not. Seriously what kind of kunoichi lets herself fall like that?"

A new voice… "I think you're underestimating her."

"I don't think so. And why is she even here in the first place? There is no need for a medic on this mission. It makes no sense at all unless there is another objective to this mission."

Another voice "Shut up will you! She's coming too."

There were too many voices to focus on, too much… The throbbing in Sakura's head was unbearable. She could make out what the voices were saying but who was speaking wasn't registering with her at all. Sakura's whole body felt like it was on fire. Blinking a few times she tried to open her eyes but it hurt too much so she shut them with a groan. The voices were becoming sharper and more in focus. She could hear Naruto and Shikamaru arguing over her… Her heart snuck as she listened to their words. She heard Neji's voice then Tenten's. With what little strength she had Sakura pulled herself with her arms. Waves of pain rippled through Sakura's body.

"Stay still." Tenten ordered gently laying Sakura back against the cool ground.

"How long?" Sakura starred up at the strained face of her friend,"Damn it Tenten! I asked you how long!"

Tenten shifted her gaze looking for anywhere but at Sakura "Four hours…"

"What?" Disbelief was etched into Sakura's features. "No way…"

"Yeah you've been out for four hours."

Sakura let out a groan of frustration and slammed her fist against the earth. A little crack emerged from the group immeaditly after. Even miles away Sasuke was still trying to ruin her life.

'I swear I'm gonna kill him.'

'**Yeah right… Psh…' **

"What happened?" Sakura asked as she ignored Inner-Sakura's rant. Naruto came over and sat down cross-legged in front of her. "Here Tenten I'll tell her you go stretch or something."

"Thanks Naruto." Tenten pushed herself of the ground, offering Sakura a small smile.

Naruto and Sakura just starred at each other for several seconds. "I'm sorry!" they both blurted out at the same time.

"I shouldn't have brought up teme. I'm really sorry Sakura. I truly am."

"No I'm sorry Naruto. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's just some wounds just don't want to heal."

"I'm sorry! Don't die on me." He gave her a big hug. Awkwardly from her position on the ground she hugged him back.

"Don't worry you baka I have to stick around other wise poor Tsunade-sama is going to go insane. And I have to see your wedding and I'll be there when you become Hokage I'm not going anywhere. It was just a little fall."

"But Sakura-chan! That wasn't a little fall. You could have died if Shikamaru hadn't gotten to you first."

Sakura's eyes widen and she starred at him. Gasping she managed to get out the words "Shikamaru did what?"

"Well you see after you jumped on ahead a branch must of snapped and you fell but before you could recover you hit your head on a branch and were knocked unconscious. For a lazy ass Shikamaru's really quick. You should have seen him. He ran forward and made a diving catch in order to get to you. Once we were all on the ground Neji and I moved you over this way and Tenten looked after you while you were out of it."

"I see… Naruto can you move me to the tree over there."

"Yeah of course Sakura-chan." Carefully he lifted Sakura up and placed her gently against the tree.

"I have one more favor to ask of you. Can you bring my med pack over here?"

"Yep." Naruto bounded off and brought the white pack laying it on the ground next to Sakura.

* * *

Sakura rummaged around in the bag until she found several different bottles of pills. She popped 3 small round blue ones and waited for the effect to place. She felt a tingling effect spreading through her body. She placed her hands on either side of her head and the tingling cool effect from her charka was spreading through her body. There weren't any serious injuries a concussion was the worst but other than that Sakura felt she would be fine in a couple of days once the bruising subsided. Once she was done with the healing she opened up another bottle of pills and popped a few of the small white ones. They took immeadate effect spreading through her system so the only thing that Sakura was feeling was a little stiff.

She stood up from the ground and strectched her arms high above her head. "Team meeting now!" she called out. Tenten, Neji and Shikamaru hopped over to join her and Naruto. Once everyone was gathered Sakura began to speak, "As you all know this was a bit of a set back for us and we are going to have ground to cover. I figure its time for that plan Shikamaru-san wanted earlier." She broke off a branch from the tree and started to draw in the dirt. "We are here. We need to reach the edge of the forest by at least sunset if we continue along at a strong clip. In the morning we will move here." She drew a circle around a large area, "This is one of our intended targets. It is on the plains region before the mountains. We will be traveling through the mountains and examining the villages that were attacked and those that still remain. After we leave this forest we will proceed with extreme caution. We don't know anything about the people who are behind this so we all need to stay on our toes." Shikamaru let out a muffled snort when she said 'stay on your toes'. Sakura shot him a murderous glare. "From this point forward Neji and Shikamaru will be in front. I'm next in the middle and Tenten and Naruto are bringing up the rear. Do you have any questions?" None of the group spoke. "Alright then if that's it then, Shikamaru I would like a word alone if you please."

* * *

Shikamaru shot her look of venom that Sakura returned masterfully with her own. Turning on their heels they headed a ways into the forest until they came upon a clearing.

"So what do you want?" Shikamaru drawled his voice filled with boredom.

It made Sakura's blood boil watching as he just stood there bored. Did he have no respect? "Yes I wanted to talk to you about your attitude."

"There's nothing wrong with it. So can I go?"

"No you may not leave! And you should treat me with the respect that I deserve. I don't care if you have an IQ over 200 or whatever your opinion of me is, but I want you to treat me with the same respect that you would give Neji, or Naruto, or hell even Tenten if one of them had been named leader over you for this mission. I don't care if your feelings were hurt or what. I'm the leader and you'll have to deal with it."

"You done yet?"

"Am I done yet? Am I done yet!" she screeched glaring at him intent to kill oozing from every pore in her body.

"Yeah I said are you done yet. Seriously Sakura-san let's just skip this little trip. I'm not sore because I wasn't chosen to be leader for this mission. And I'm treating you the same as I would any other person in your situation. But I don't appreciate people spying on me. Isn't that why you are here Sa-ku-ra?"

* * *

Disclaimer: If owned Naruto… Then Neji and Shikamaru would so totally be real! So I guess that means I own nothing. :(

* * *

I have updated my profile to deal more with my status so people won't wonder where I have gone. 

AN: I didn't mean to make this chapter this sort or leave it as such a cliffy but I felt that I had to get something up. I ended up writing this chapter and I think I'm happier having it like this. Hopefully you all like it.

I will be going MIA for 2 weeks while my midyear exams are happening I have 6 of them and they are worth 5 of my year grade in the class. I start on Tuesday. So I'll try to get the next chapter written.

Well I'm happy to be updating! And I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

-Cloudy

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Review Shoutouts:

Oh my god! Thanks for the favorites and the requests and hits and everything! You guys rock!

Starlight - Wild Koneko: Thanks for the review as always! Yeah… Hopefully I didn't over due Sakura's breakdown too much… She's gonna be more down to earth in the later chapters. Then I can send Shikamaru off the deep end!

ChiakitheHedgehogKoniochi: Thank you! Yes Shika/Saku-ness!!! They totally rule! There is gonna be more of them in the next chapter.

riptiderobin21: There is some good Shika/Saku stuff. A lot of the really early stuff is amazing and classic! Then again I'm a hardcore shipper of theirs so… My opinion is slightly biased. Thank you for the wonderful review! I was worried that I wasn't adding enough depth to the characters and the story was "They went there. Then they went to that other place, etc…" It was very encouraging to here. I'm glad you enjoyed the story thus far.

EvilFaerie17: Wow talk about coincidences… So I'm writing the chapter when suddenly I get a new mail message saying that I have a new review… This is so cool! Thank you for the review! I love Shika/Saku too! They are so sweet together. Yeah they both are dealing badly with pain but it will get better! I hope this is a quick enough update for you lol.


	5. Chapter 5

Cold Light  
By: Cloudy

* * *

"I don't appreciate people spying on me. Isn't that why you are here Sa-ku-ra?"

Underneath Sakura's cool façade that she tried to put on, waves of panic were beginning to take control. She didn't know what to do now that he knew. And there was definitely no way that she could talk Shikamaru out of believing that she was on this mission for a different purpose. She wanted to scream and rip her hair out, maybe even yell at Shishou for the mess she was in.

* * *

"_Whatever you do Sakura make sure he doesn't realize what you are doing on there. I don't care what you have to do Sakura. Lie to him, seduce him, and hell even if you erased his memories it would be better than him knowing. He is a security risk, a very valuable security risk. His knowledge of your assignment might throw things off balance and ruin the mission. The mission comes first no matter what."

* * *

_

'**It seems like you'll have to do it.'**

'Shut up! I know!'

'**Then why aren't you? You're taking your sweet old time.' **Inner Sakura paused and let out a peal of laughter, **'You're afraid of a little…'**

'Shut the hell up!'

"Fine Shikamaru you win."

"Really?" he stared at her incrediously not fully believing the words that were coming out of her mouth. "Why are you telling me so easily?"

"Well because I frankly don't care what happens to Ino."

"Wait, what? Ino?" A few seconds it occurred to him what Sakura was talking about. "She didn't?"

"Oh but _she did_…"

There was a growl of frustration, "I can't believe that troublesome woman. Can't she stay out of my business! She's such a … Ugh…" Shikamaru let out a groan and sank down against the nearest tree muttering about how all women are troublesome. "What did she say I did?"

"That she thought you were on drugs. She also thought that you needed to seek help. If you are addicted as she claims I suggest you go to a rehab clinic. Looking after you is driving me insane."

Shikamaru smirked, "So Sakura-san it was a nice ploy but it is not working on me. Why is Tsunade-sama having you follow me?"

"God damn it Shikamaru!" Sakura's fist shot out hitting the nearest tree leaving a hole in the center of it. "If Shishou wanted you to be watched she would have sent some one better for the position. I might be her protégé but that does not mean she trusts me with tasks like that. She would send an ANBU member or Kakashi-sensei or somebody more suited for the job." She took a deep breath, "Sheesh for a genius you really are slow."

"The only reasons you are sent out are because of your medical skills."

"Oh you think so? I'm so glad you think so highly of my skills. I'd like you to know that I'm just as good as you are."

"Is that a challenge Sakura-san?"

"No. Don't flatter yourself. Trust me you're not worth my time."

"It's a bio weapon isn't it."

"I am too…" Sakura stopped in mid sentence, "Wait! Stop! What did you say?"

Shikamaru's smirk grew even bigger. It was starting to resemble Sasuke's and it was starting to piss Sakura off to no end. "It's a bio weapon, right? That's the only reason Tsunade-sama would send you out into the field as leader for a mission like this.

Inner Sakura was cheering away at Shikamaru's stupidity. She was even dancing around celebrating it. 'Will you stop that? It's kind of distracting.'

'**No it's not. And girl you just got the break of a life time. I'd think about using it soon.'**

"Fine you win… You've got me. I don't think I can talk my way out of this one. Alright the day we set out Kakashi-sensei returned from his mission. He brought word that there was some bio weapon that was being used on some of the more recent villages that were destroyed. I only found out a little bit before we left. But I was told it was of the utmost importance to discover if and what this weapon could be. The mission must be completed at any and all costs."

Shikamaru's brown eyes studied her looking for signs that she was lying. There didn't seem to be any signs that she was lying. She wasn't showing any physical signs that she was lying. Also there was a definite train of logic to her arguments. The only problem with her story was the time line of it. Approximately the time it would take for all of this to transpire was much longer than they would have had in the morning. If Sakura had talked to the Hokage, why didn't they arrive at the departure point together? 'It's just not making sense…' His brain was working over all the little pieces of the puzzle. 'That has to be it of course! It was so obvious.' Pakkun, that bothersome dog of Kakashi's, must have brought messages back. It was just the kind of thing he would do. Kakashi probably ran into Sakura on the way to the departure spot and told her everything. He never was one for following regulations.

"Alright, I believe you."

"Thank you! Seriously it took you long enough, though. I thought I was going to have to knock some sense into you." The kunoichi continued to vent furiously over his behavior.

Shikamaru sweat dropped slightly at her behavior. The last thing he need was this troublesome irate woman upset at him for the remainder of the journey. "Look Sakura…" he struggled with the words, "It's not that… It's… Damn it." He ran a hair back through his hair, "I only acted the way I did because I thought you were spying on me. I really do like you."

Sakura just starred in disbelief at him, "Shit. I didn't mean it that way! Not to say that… What I'm trying to say I'm sorry."

"I know and well I am too. I'm sorry that I've been snapping and stuff. It's just Ino and the whole mess… It just has me a bit bothered. As you would say 'it's all so troublesome'."

He gave her a knowing smile. Sakura walked over towards him and he stood up in return. "Friends?" She offered out her hand.

"Friends." They shook hands for a moment. Both of them felt a new warm sensation but they pushed it from there minds as their hands dropped.

"I'm going back to everyone else. You are coming?"

"Nah… I was going to take a quick smoke, if that's alright." He added as an after thought.

"Yeah sure it is." She said smiling a little but Sakura and Inner Sakura were screaming inside about how he was a moron and what would happen if he smoked on of those cigarettes.

"Thanks. Sakura-san I won't give you such a hard time from now on."

"Shikmaru drop the –san. We're not in the hospital and I hate being called that."

"Alright." A low chuckle escaped his lips and soon Sakura's light giggle joined it.

"I'll be going then." She stepped forward close to Shikamaru. Startled by her presence he didn't move. Sakura stood up on her tip toes and leaned forward placing a kiss on Shikamaru's forehead. A blush rose up from his neck and spread like a flame across his cheecks.

"What was that for?" he managed to choke out. He was really embarrassed but he was thankful that Naruto hadn't seen the kiss. He didn't think he would here the end of it.

"A thank you for saving me. You may not seem it but you're pretty chivalrous." With those words Sakura left the forest clearing and made her way through the trees heading back towards the make shift camp.

* * *

Sinking down against the tree once more, Shikamaru muttered "I think I really need that cigarette now." Soon wisps of grey smoke were wafting up into the sky.

* * *

"I have to get those things away from his soon. This is not good at all. Naruto, can you seriously believe that he bought that story."

"Well actually Sakura-chan…" the blond scratched his head nervously. "I thought you were telling the truth…"

"Baka…"

"I agree with Haruno. The quicker we get those things away from him the better. Clearly whatever that substance is, it is affecting his concentration." Neji's silver eyes seemed sad as he said those words.

"With high stakes missions you can't afford to get all emotional." Tenten said. "Look at the fall you look Sakura. Missions are not times for emotions to get in the way."

There was a snort from behind Tenten. Narrowing her eyes, Tenten glared at her ex-teammate, "What's so funny Neji? I do recall a mission where you were too afraid to go into a house because of the spider in it."

Neji shot her a murderous glare and Naruto within seconds was doubled up on the ground laughing his head off. "The white-eyed bastard is afraid of spiders. Hahaha…"

"Uzamaki…" Neji raised his fist and was going to hit Naruto but Sakura's hand pushed back his own.

"Here let me Hyuuga." Sakura swung her arm back and connected with Naruto's stomach sending him flying through the air and causing him to land on the ground several meters away. "See that's how you throw a punch Hyuuga. If you would like any pointers, I'm available for the next few months." Tenten and Sakura just laughed at the joke and wandered off to finish backing up the make shift camp.

* * *

Evidently when Shikamaru returned he could not understand why Neji and Naruto were glaring at the two kunoichi.

"What's up with those two?"

Tenten and Sakura exchanged looks and burst into a new fit of laughter. "You… Wouldn't… Get… It…" they gasped in between breaths.

"Troublesome women…"

* * *

"Sakura are we there yet?"

"No Naruto."

"How about now?"

"No Naruto…"

"Now?"

"How about now?"

"NO!"

"Now?"

"How about now?"

"NARUTO!"

"Now?"

A kunai flew out of no where and just missed Naruto's head. "I swear," called Tenten, "Naruto if you don't shut up about when you are going to get to our destination. I will personally shove this kunai up your ass."

"I'll join in helping." Sakura piped up a voice too cheery for the men's liking.

The party fell silent again as they jumped from tree to tree trying to hurry along to there destination. Unfortunately for the team, the weather was looking bad. The skies had steadily become darker and darker with big ominous looking clouds. It was looking like the team would have to stop soon for the night.

'I hope the storm doesn't come until after we have reached our destination.'

'**Honey what are you on right now? You know it is going to rain. Stop fooling yourself.'**

Shikamaru bounded up from his position at the back and fell into stride with Sakura, "Can I offer some advice."

"I'm listening. Hopefully it is better than the shit you gave me earlier."

"What do you take me for woman? Of course it is." She shot him a dry expression. "We should set up camp soon. I doubt any of us want to get stuck in the middle of a huge thunderstorm."

"Yeah Sakura-chan! We don't want to!" Naruto yelled calling from the back.

"But we were supposed to be at the edge of the forest by night fall."

"I know that you wanted to get there but I don't think it would be wise. Plus we all have had a long tiresome day and this mission isn't going to get an easier."

Sakura could tell by the look in Shikamaru's eyes that he was being sincere but she couldn't help but feel miffed. Even when he was out of it, Shikamaru was doing a better job than she was at being the leader. "Alright. We'll set up camp for the night. I'll run up ahead and tell Neji."

Sakura dashed off through several meters of forest before she founded the silver-eyed Hyuuga. "Neji."

"Haruno."

"We are going to stop for the night because of the growing bad omens." She waved her arm towards the sky.

"Is that wise? I know you wanted to reach the forest's edge by night fall."

"I think it will be alright. I'll figure out a new route tonight for us to take in order to make up for lost time. I think a short route is far more preferable to being stuck in a thunderstorm."

"Ah. You do have a point there."

Neji and Sakura slowed their pace down upon finding a dense area of trees that would be suitable enough for their camp.

Sakura set down her pack against the tree and stretched causing her neck and back to crack.

"You do know that is bad for your joints?"

"I know Mr. I'm not a medic-nin."

"Hnn…"

"God, what is it with men and the 'hnns'? I have heard enough of those to last me a life time. First Sasuke, then Sai, then Shikamaru, and now you."

"I'll let you in on a little secret Haruno." Neji motioned with his finger for her to come closer. Bending down he whispered in Sakura's ear, "We do it just to annoy you."

Sakura gave him a light punch on the shoulder in retaliation and added a glare for good measure.

'Damn that hurt…' thought Neji as he rubbed the spot where Sakura's fist had hit. He was sure he was going to have a poppy colored bruise on it by the morning. When he looked back up at the pink haired medic, she was deep in thought. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing," Her head shook a little, "It's just we can't stay like this for much longer can we?"

He replied with a sad smile, "No. No we can't."

They waited in silence until the others had caught up with them.

* * *

Disclaimer: Once again I would like to reiterate the fact that I do not own Naruto.

* * *

AN: Well I'm done with my midyears... And they were a nightmare... So much for all that studying. But all the reviews you guys wrote really made me happy. Especially since my English teacher handled back a paper and litterally went "yeah you all suck at writing." So you guys all rule!

I don't know how good this chapter is but constructive critism is welcomed or suggestions of any kind. I'm open to ideas and constantly rewriting stuff. So if you have anything you want to see etc etc, just tell me.

I'll try to update within the next two weeks -- most likely on a Friday because I'm fried from the school week.

* * *

Review Shoutouts:

Wow… I never expected such a great turn out for this story! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!

Silent Whisperer: Thank you for the review! I looked up that song you suggested and I might be able to use it in one of the later chapters after the group has reached Suna. So if you are willing to wait I'd be happy to add it to the story. Thank you for the suggestion!

ChiakitheHedgehogKoniochi: Thank you! I hope this was a pretty quick update for you.

EvilFaerie17: Well I hope that this was a pretty good reaction to the problem. And I have happily made things all better between the two for the most part. Though of course I'll throw in tension and fights for the fun of it. Shika and Saku are the BEST COUPLE! I'm a hardcore shipper. Thank you for the great review.

riptiderobin21: I know the last chapter was kind of short but I wanted to get something up. Plus I made a few changes to the story line so shorter actually worked out pretty well. I hope this chapter was long enough for you. Thanks for the review and the luck!

bluepen113: Ahh I agree Starlight - Wild Koneko definetly needs to update that fic soon! I'm a big fan of it. I kept the chapters coming so don't be angry with me. - thanks for the support!

Aloha.Laney: I agree there are not enough Shika/Saku out there. But then again when I got into the pairing way back when there were only 2.5 pages worth of stories now there is 8. Thank you for the support!

Starlight - Wild Koneko: You are always the first one to review. I'm so impressed. I'm terrible about reviewing… Yeah so I kind of killed the tension with a bit of humor. I think I might have rushed things a little but… I'll probably screw up their relationship some more just for the sheer amusement of it. Thank you so much for your continued support!! -


	6. Chapter 6

Cold Light  
Cloudy Skies

* * *

"Naruto where is the other tent?"

"It should be right over there," he motioned with his arm pointing towards the large amassed pile of bags. "Uh oh… Unless… Oh…" He started to rub sheepishly and back away from where Sakura was standing.

From across the camp Shikamaru looked up from his position, "He forgot the tent again, didn't he?"

"I would say so judging by the look on his face." Neji replied as he nailed the corner his of the tent down. He glanced up to see an angry Sakura marching towards Naruto, her fists balled up and ready.

"He should be grateful it's not Sasuke and only Sakura."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that one."

"Why do you say…" Naruto's body came twitching to a thud right in front of Shikamaru. "I take that back. Sakura-san is a hell of a lot more brutal than Sasuke. Remind me not piss her off."

* * *

Sakura let out a low growl "Men…"

"I know Sakura. They are more trouble than they are worth."

"Actually that's not what I was going to say, Tenten."

"They should all rot in hell?"

"No, but that does apply too."

"I was going to say collectively they still only have half a brain."

Tenten let out a chuckle, "They sure do, but Neji and I get along alright. I think Naruto has been dipping into the stupid pills again."

"Yeah could be but, Tenten, you and Neji have been going out since you were in your teens. You've been voted Konaha's best couple how many times?"

"Twice. Jiraiya and Tsunade seem to always win as of late."

"I can't believe you even entered the competition."

"I didn't… Gai-sensei does for us… It apparently shows the power of our youthfulness…" Sakura just raised an eyebrow at her friend, "Yeah I know what you're thinking Sakura and trust me you are so lucky to have had Kakashi-sempai as your genin sensei. Gai-sensei is well…" she spent a moment looking for the word, "unique."

"You know when we get back I think I'll treat Kakashi-sensei to a nice dinner."

"Sounds like a good plan."

"Oi Haruno! Can you get over here and heal the idiot?"

"Yeah… Yeah… I'm coming! Don't get your pants in a bunch Hyuuga." Sakura glanced over at Tenten, "I still don't get what you see in the guy."

She laughed "I wouldn't expect you to."

* * *

The rain was coming down in sheets but there was a reasonably dry shelter set up. They had taken a panel from one of the two remaining tents and had stretched it over the tree branches to create a make-shift roof of sorts. There were still a few drops of water that fell through but not enough to cause many problems. The group sat around the small fire that they had going, enjoying the last few stress free moments before they were deep into the mission.

"Shikamaru that thing reeks!" complained Naruto waving his hand in front of his face. "Go smoke somewhere else! Seriously move your lazy ass that way." Naruto pointed away from the camp to the forest.

"What a drag, I'm going. Sheesh, troublesome people…" Shikamaru stood up catching Sakura's eyes on him. He raised an eyebrow at her and she quickly glanced away. He slowly walked away from the fire to the edge of their camp site. Sakura watched as Shikamaru's back shrank away from the glow of the fire into the darkness. She didn't hear Tenten's voice speaking to her. Sakura only noticed the weapon mistress's attempts to gain her attention, once Tenten began to wave her hand in front of Sakura's face.

"Earth to Sakura! You still in there?"

"Huh? I'm sorry Tenten I was a bit distracted."

"That's an understatement." She grinned devilishly, "So admiring the strapping young Nara were we, Sakura?"

Flushing Sakura looked away from her friend, "I don't know what you are talking about." she muttered.

"Oh c'mon Sakura. You can tell me! There is something clearly going on between you and Shikamaru and it's more than the mission."

"Wait Sakura-chan is that true?" asked Naruto his eyes wide at the news.

"There is nothing going on between us." Sakura stated flatly.

"Okay I get it you just don't want the guys to know. It's time for a little girl chat. If you guys will excuse us, we'll be right back."

"No Tenten that's not the case!" It was too late for Sakura. She was already being dragged to the tents by Tenten. Sakura held out her arm begging for help from Naruto or Neji, but they didn't move a muscle. Neji's mouth was twitching in an ever growing smirk which was pissing Sakura off. She mouthed damn you at him and flipped her middle finger up before she was forced into the tent.

"Alright spill it now." Tenten demanded leaning forward starring intensely at Sakura.

Sakura shifted nervously under her friend's piercing gaze. "Tenten seriously there is nothing going on between Shikamaru and me."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"So that was just mission stuff?"

"I don't know…"

"You don't know?"

"Well it's complicated." Tenten was looking her with the same look she always had when she wanted information. Sighing Sakura continued, "There is nothing going on between us but I'm deeply concerned for him. Who knows what is happening to him. I hate to see anyone I know in a state like that."

"Are you sure that he just didn't sweep you off your feet by saving you from falling?"

"Seriously I could care less if it was _him_ who saved me."

"That was harsh. You know you prefer Shikamaru to Uchiha."

"I know. I know. This mission just has me a bit stressed and confused, that's all."

Tenten let out a disappointed sigh, "Well so much for a fairy tale romance developing. The brave princess and the troubled prince's story will never be written. Oh well…"

Sakura just gawked at Tenten, "Have you been hanging out with Izumo and Kotetsu again?"

"Nope."

"Good. They are clearly a bad influence on you even when you haven't spoken to them. I'm sure Neji would agree with me on this."

"Hmph… Haruno Sakura you are a fun sucker."

"I know, now come on let's get back to the fire. It's freezing."

* * *

Shikamaru walked out past the boundaries of the camp into the rain. He settled himself beneath a tree and took a long drag from the cigarette inhaling the smoke deeply. The cravings had been getting worse lately. He was starting to run low on his special cigarettes. Shikamaru's mind was troubled and his talk with Sakura had not helped him. He still felt awkward about the whole kiss thing and she hadn't even kissed him on the cheeks or the lips. For some reason it made his stomach churn uncomfortably. He sighed deeply. Women were just troublesome; they caused too much of a fuss over everything. He was upset with Ino for butting in and going to Sakura. A part of him couldn't believe that Ino had the guts to do that considering what had happened between Sakura and her. Though, if Sakura did find out about the drugs he would be up a creek without a paddle metaphorically speaking. Most likely Tsunade would suspend him. Then he would be stuck in the village with the constant reminder that he was useless and couldn't help anyone. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? He sighed, "Asuma-sensei what would you do?"

* * *

Shikamaru hadn't returned yet but Naruto had assured them he was probably chain smoking out in the woods. "He is a big boy don't worry about him."

"Alright well we are going to sleep. Night Naruto. Sakura." Neji and Tenten bid their farewells and went inside their tent, leaving Naruto and Sakura sitting quietly next to the fire. They hadn't really been talking much because of the whole Sasuke issue. The quiet between them was some what strained and awkward. Sasuke always caused conflict between them and they both knew it.

Sakura sipped the terrible tasting coffee thinking of what Tenten had said _'Oh c'mon Sakura. You can tell me! There is something clearly going on between you and Shikamaru and it's more than the mission.'_ Sakura sighed, was there something going on between Shikamaru and her? There couldn't be. First of all he kept undermining her authority and giving her a hard time. Plus she had sworn off all relationships after _him._ Her head was beginning to pound, and Sakura knew that being more distracted than she was wouldn't help the mission. She let out another long drawn out sigh.

"Are you alright Sakura-chan?" asked Naruto who had just finished his cup of coffee.

"I guess so." She shook her head, "I don't know maybe I'm not okay."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Come on Sakura, it's not good to bottle things up inside." She looked up at Naruto. She couldn't bring herself to tell him about it. "You know that you can tell me anything."

"I know I can."

"Then why don't you? Why don't we talk as much as we used to? What's happening to you?"

"There is nothing wrong with me. I just can't… I can't talk with or stand to see Sasuke."

"I know… But isn't there some way that you two could work things out?" Naruto's childish blue eyes stared up at Sakura with a naïve hope.

She smiled sadly at him shaking her head, "I'm afraid we will never work things out. I'm sorry Naruto." The coffee mug slipped from her slightly shaking hands and the liquid slowly spread across the ground.

"Do you hate him?" Naruto asked carefully. He moved to pick up the mug but Sakura's hand stopped him. His bright blue eyes looked up at her sad green ones. Seeing Sakura like this always killed Naruto. She was supposed to be happy and cheerful and violent and all the things that made her Sakura.

"I don't know if I do or if I don't. He hurt me a lot Naruto." Sakura's eyes glazed over as she looked into the fire, "He ran off with my best friend, Naruto. She promised me she would take care of him. She promised! Sasuke and I were going to be married after that mission." Sakura's sentences were starting to become jumbled and out of order. Sakura was trying to keep herself together, "She slept with my fiancé and stole him from me. I loved him god damn it! He just comes back and expects me to understand that our engagement is off, that all that time we spent together was nothing. He expected me to understand and accept that! He just threw me out like some rag doll that he didn't want anymore. He just used me. He called me weak, said things to me that he would have said back when team seven was a team. He never loved or wanted me. He never did! Then they… they all treat me like I'm a glass doll and I'll shatter. I won't shatter! I'm not some fucking doll! I'm… I'm…" the words were chocked. Sakura couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They just flowed and flowed damping her cheeks. Sakura let out a sob.

"Sakura-chan…" Naruto wrapped his arms around her protectively. He stroked her back and hair gently, "It's okay. It's okay. Shhhh. Everything is going to be alright from now on. Don't worry I'll never leave you like he did, neither will Kakashi or Sai. Shhh. It's okay. It's okay." He held the sobbing girl to his chest and his heart went out for her. He knew that things hadn't been easy for her. "It's okay Sakura. Everything is going to be fine."

Shikamaru felt guilty for having overheard that. It was such a personal thing to have overheard. He shouldn't have listened to it. There was another part inside his head was cheering because despite all the things that he and Sakura had said, he hadn't meant the majority of them. She was too weak and fragile to survive in this line of work and on missions like this. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and sat in the branch of the tree facing away from Sakura and Naruto. "If I were her, would I have reacted any better?" Shikamaru didn't know. Closing his eyes he let the rain hit against his skin, his mind focused on the pink haired girl.

* * *

Sakura didn't pay any attention to Shikamaru as he slinked back into camp. She barely registered his gruff 'night' before he disappeared into the tent. Tenten and Neji had come for their shifts for watch duty but Sakura had told them that she would do it. She wasn't sleepy. Naruto had gone to bed ages ago as soon as she was feeling semi better. Her body was cold and wet – the perfect combination for not falling asleep. Her emotions were in a stir and she couldn't seem to calm down. Subconsciously she was angry with herself for letting Naruto drag all of that out of her. She could hear Inner Sakura mocking her. She felt like she was going insane all Sakura wanted to do was scream. She needed to do something, anything.

Her hand fiddled with the edge of one of her kunai. Kakashi's word drifted into her mind, '_I thought you had stopped.'_

"I had…" she whispered to the darkness. Her stomach churned with guilt. She was worrying him, keeping him up at night. She could tell. After all they only had each other no one else maybe save a few close friends. If you had asked her as a genin, Sakura would have never told you that Kakashi would become like a father to her. He had abandoned her too, like the rest had. 'I always watch their backs…' She let out an undignified snort, 'I have nothing to thank them over. Nothing.'

Deftly her fingers went back to exploring the kunai, 'Is this how he feels?' she wondered as the blade sliced the skin of her fingers open. Beads of crimson liquid seeped out and flowed down the pads of her fingers. Carefully Sakura unwrapped the bandages from her wrist paper. Paper thin scars crisscrossed the smooth skin. Slowly she brought the kunai across the skin. She let out a sharp wince and drew away the blade.

Sakura's heart seized up again and more tears flowed down her face again.

"Love is watching someone die... You're dead to me Sasuke… You died the day you left for that mission…" The tears kept falling. She drew her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth, her tears still streaming down her face.

_So who's gonna watch you die?_  
_So who's gonna watch you die?  
So who's gonna watch you die?

* * *

_

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. It's that simple. Nor do I own 'What Sarah Said' by Death Cab for Cutie.

AN: Well I wanted to get something written and up there before I go into my hell week. Though I probably shouldn't have since I have four major chem labs due this week and a test… AP Chem is a living nightmare.

I've basically fallen into a pattern of updating every week or two depending on how much work I have to do. So I'm planning to keep that schedule up. So as you can see this is gonna be a bit of a long story since this is chapter 6 and we haven't even meant the evil orginazation that is trying to take over the world yet. Check my profile for updates. I have an update box to keep you all informed.

So I changed this chapter a little bit. Orginally it was going to be longer and more Shikamaru focused because I've been focused on Sakura for the past few chapters, but I'm going to try to switch to some more Shikamaru focused ones starting with the next chapter.

Oh and I will clear up the whole Sakura/Sasuke/Ino thing next chapter and what really happened between the three of them.

Oh and I'm going to be working on a couple of Valentine's Day specials-- one or two shots only. (mainly shika/saku ones)

And I'm going to go back and fix the errors in chapter 5 of Cold Light because I'm not happy with the way it came out.

And one last thing! I was kinda surprised by the number of people who liked the Neji/Sakura scene. I'm also a Neji/Sakura shipper so that kinda influenced that scene a little bit. But I'm going to expand it when I edit chapter 5. But I'm glad that so many people liked it.

* * *

Review Shoutouts!

YOU GUYS RULE! Thank you for all the hits, reads, favorites, and alerts. You guys are all the best!!!

Starlight - Wild Koneko: Yeah there was a slight Neji/ Sakura moment thrown in there. I think that they get along quite well kinda love hate annoy type of relationship. So I thought that could work in here. Yeah Sakura and Shikamaru are on better terms but not completely. Wait about 5 chapters, then they will be on excellent terms. Ahhh the bio weapon yes… hmm well I'm still debating… I have certain key chapter planned out for later in the story but I'm debating about the bio weapon part. Either way Shikamaru is going to be bothered and annoyed by the thought of a bio weapon no matter if it exists or not.

EvilFaerie17: Well Shikamaru believing the lie only emphasizes how bad those drugs are. I'm glad you like that saying and the scene. Thank you so much for you support and I'm glad you like it so much! I'm glad to know that people look forward and enjoy my stories.

Kura-chan!: Yeah I know teachers are harsh and I totally understand what you are saying. Well you might actually get your wish in the next chapter and 3 or so chapters after that.

I'm glad you enjoyed this story. Thank you for the support.

Riptiderobin: Omg I love that phrase! (lovable-druggie-genius) I might have to use it later on as long as you agree to let me use it of course. People seem to be surprised by the Neji humor a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hoped you liked this one

Aloha.Laney: I'm glad you liked the scene between Neji and Sakura. When I go back to edit the chapter I'm going to expand that scene a little more.

Silent Whisperer: Shoot... I knew it was going to be out of character... I have having a hard time keeping it in character. I'll have to fix it. Yeah so I have even more new chappie-ness for you! Thank you for the continued support!

Sugarplum-sweetheart :I hope that this chapter clears up why Sakura is mad at Sasuke I'm gonna go into more in the next chapter if you stick around for that. Thank you for your support and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter as well!

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

Cold Light.  
Cloudy Skies.

* * *

_"Sakura… Sakura…" a soft voice called out._

_Slowly Sakura's eyes blinked open everything was so bright. She shut her eyelids quickly to block out the bright light. As they got used to light, she saw who had woken her, "Sasuke-kun!" she cried happily sitting up. "What are you doing here? I thought you had a mission."_

_"I did I just got back into the village this morning. As soon as I had slept some I thought I would come surprise you."_

_"Well it was quite a lovely surprise." Sakura said standing up and wrapping her arms around Sasuke's neck._

_He leaned down giving Sakura a light kiss, "I missed you."_

_"As did I, Sasuke. As did I."_

_"Do you want to go to dinner tonight then after your shift is over?"_

_"Of course, I'd love to! When should I meet you?"_

_"I'll pick you up at your house around seven o'clock. Is that alright?"_

_"Yeah that's perfect." Sakura grinned up at Sasuke before giving him another kiss. "I should head back out on my rounds. I'll see you tonight?"_

_He gave her a small smile, "I was the one who asked you."_

_Sakura's cheery laugh filled the room, "Oh right. Well see you later Sasuke-kun."_

_"Bye Sakura."_

_Sakura cheerily set off on her rounds. She couldn't wait for her date with Sasuke.

* * *

_

_Sakura ran into her apartment shutting the door with a bang. Clothes were being thrown out of her closet at an alarming rate, "Agh! Where is that dress! It has to be here…" Soon Sakura had amassed a large pile that included most of the clothes from her closest. On the brightside Sakura had found the dress. She held it up examining it. The dress was champagne colored halter dress that reached up to her knees; along the right side was a slight that showed off Sakura's toned legs. She grinned as she slipped the dress on._

_Just as Sakura was finishing applying the last of her make up there was a knock on her door, "I'm coming!" she cried as she grabbed her purse running for the door. She flew the door open upon, "I'm so sorry Sasuke!" Sakura's mind went blank, and she just starred at her boyfriend. He was dressed to kill. Sakura was struggling for words he was wearing a tux and his spiky hair was arranged in just the perfect way._

_"Sakura are you alright? You aren't sick are you." He placed his hand over her forehead. "You don't feel warm to me."_

_Sakura tried to fight back the blush that was rising to the surface of her cheecks, "No Sasuke-kun I'm fine. It's…" she played with the carpet with her toe. "You just look so amazing, that's all." She smiled up at him._

_"You look amazing as well. Here." He pulled out a single rose from behind his back._

_"Oh it's lovely Sasuke!" gushed Sakura._

_"C'mon we are going to be late if we don't get going soon."_

_"Alright I'm coming." Sakura rushed out the door behind him._

_The restaurant was perfect. Everything was just so perfect. Sakura couldn't help but grin at Sasuke. They had mainly spent their time catching up and talking about what was new. Well Sakura did most of the talking Sasuke would make a comment or two but Sakura didn't mind Sasuke had always been like that._

_"Thank you so much for this. This evening has been perfect."_

_"It's not over yet Sakura we still have desert to get through."_

_"That's true. I can't wait to try their strawberry cake it sounds amazing."_

_"I have heard it is." A smirk tugged at the corners of the Uchiha's lips._

_"Sasuke-kun is there something you aren't telling me?"_

_"Nope."_

_Sakura pouted out him, "Oh c'mon Sasuke you can tell me."_

_"Ok I'll tell you as long as you do me one favor."_

_"Name it!"_

_"Just close your eyes."_

_Sakura's heart skipped a beat, "Okay I can do that."_

_Once Sakura's eyes were closed several of the waiters from the restaurant placed the large cake before Sakura._

_Sasuke's smirk grew a little bigger. "You can open your eyes now."_

_Sakura gasped as she opened her eyes. Sitting before her was a three tiered cake beautifully decorated and sitting at the top was a small black box. Sasuke was kneeling beside her in a moment, "Haruno Sakura, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"_

_"Oh kami Sasuke! Yes! Of course!" Sakura flung her arms around him and kissed him._

_There were cheers and aww's from the rest of the patrons of the restaurant as the watched the happy couple. Sasuke removed the box from the top of the cake and took out the ring and placed it on Sakura's slender finger. "It's so beautiful Sasuke. Thank you!" Sakura looked down at the ring her eyes brimming with tears of joy._

_"Anything to keep you happy Sakura anything." He leaned down and kissed her. "I love you Sakura."_

_"I love you too Sasuke. This has to be the happiest moment of my life." She smiled brightly back up at him, "Sasuke there's only one problem."_

_"What?" he said looking slightly panicked._

_"What are we going to do with all this cake?"_

_The two just burst into laughter.

* * *

_

_"Holy crap forehead… That's some rock!" Ino exclaimed looking at the ring._

_"I know I was so shocked but it's absolutely beautiful. I couldn't ask for more. Hell I would have settled for a bottle cap ring."_

_Ino gave Sakura an incredulous look, "Okay so maybe not a bottle cap but it could have been far simpler._

_"So have you two set a date for the wedding?"_

_"Yes!" Sakura gushed, "It's going to be in July. We really wanted it sooner but Sasuke receive a long mission assignment again."_

_"What really? Doesn't Tsunade-sama realize that you two just got engaged?"_

_"Our duty is to the village first, Ino."_

_"I know but still you two just got engaged."_

_"It will be alright though; Tsunade hinted you might be going on that mission too."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah! This way you can keep an eye on Sasuke for me and give him lots of suggestions for the wedding. It will be perfect."_

_"Aww Sakura you are just too cute sometimes." Ino gave her friend a great big hug. "I'm so happy for you Sakura! This is a dream come true."_

_"I know I'll be Uchiha Sakura in July." She let out a giggle. "This is all I ever wanted Ino and more."_

_"I know Sakura. I know."

* * *

_

_"Be careful Sasuke-kun and don't get yourself hurt. I'll never forgive you if you do!"_

_"Don't worry Sakura I'll be back before you know it. I promise to write you."_

_"I know Sasuke-kun. I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

_Sakura turned her attention to her best friend, "Now don't you go and die on me either. I don't know what I would do without my maid of honor."_

_"Well I know you would have a lot of lonely single guys at your wedding." laughed Ino._

_"That's true," Sakura's face grew more serious, "Swear to me that you will take care of him Ino."_

_"Don't worry Sakura. I swear that I'll look after him for you. That's what best friends are for."_

_"Thank you Ino."_

_"Alright we're heading out. See you in a few months!" They all waved goodbye before going their separate ways.

* * *

_

_The months passed and Sakura began to receive fewer and fewer letters from Sasuke until she received none at all. Sakura figured that this was normal since Ino and Sasuke were on an important mission. They probably were too busy to send any or at least that's what Sakura convinced herself to believe. Plans for the wedding were going smoothly and things were almost ready. In another month Sakura would be getting married. She was so excited over the prospect.

* * *

_

_"Sakura-chan!" the loud obnoxious voice of Konoha's number one knuckleheaded ninja came floating to her. "Tsunade-bachan said the teme is coming back today. I have to go I have to go meet Gaara for some diplomatic mumbo jumbo. Bye Sakura-chan!"_

_Sakura ran to the edge of her office and yelled after him, "Thanks Naruto!"_

_"Suzuka I'm going to take a quick break. My fiancé is going to be back soon. Can you cover for me?"_

_"Of course Sakura take your time."_

_Sakura stood at the gate eagerly awaiting the return of her fiancé and her best friend. It had been over 3 months since she had said goodbye to them. Sakura was having a hard time waiting for them to arrive. In the distance she saw two figures as they came closer Sakura was able to make them out. It was Sasuke and Ino but there was something wrong… Sasuke's arm was wrapped protectively around Ino's waist. Tears just welled up to the surface and Sakura ran for it; tears were just streaming down her face. There was no need for an explanation. It made sense now… The long silences and everything… It all made sense… Sakura just ran and ran and didn't stop until she was too distraught to go on._

_Haruno Sakura had been betrayed by her fiancé and her best friend. "Why Sasuke-kun? Why?" she sobbed.

* * *

_

Shikamaru was in an irritable mood. Waking up to find Naruto hugging him was not how he wanted to start the morning. He was not some freaking teddy bear. It must have been close to four in the morning since the air still held a chill to it, and everything was still damp from the rain from the night before. 

Shikamaru gave a little stretch before walking out into their camp. He caught sight of Sakura's vivid hair. 'What on earth is she doing? Tenten should have relieved her hours ago.'

"Yo Sakura-san. Yo." She didn't move. Shikamaru let out a growl. This sure as hell wasn't his morning, and the world was conspiring against him. When he saw Sakura though he let out a gasp, the girl was a mess. She was soaked to the bone and shivering but worried him was the bloodied kunai sitting beside her and the long slash across her wrist. He bent down and placed his fingers to her pulse and let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he had been holing. Sakura was still alive but at the rate she was going, she was going to kill herself.

Shikamaru jogged back to the tent and grabbed his blankets and a roll of bandages. He took the bandages and wrapped her wrist so the slash was hidden. He then covered her with the blankets. He studied her for a moment. Her face was tear stained; he could see the light trail of salt that was a remnant of her tears. "The things I do for you." Shikamaru muttered to himself. He licked the pad of his thumb, brushing his thumb over the trail of salt. It slowly disappeared but Sakura moved slightly. He stood frozen there for a moment, the very last thing he needed was for the girl to wake up and ask a lot of unneeded questions. Luckily for him, Sakura just rolled over in her sleep muttering about somebody leaving her. 'Probably Sasuke…' mused Shikamaru.

* * *

Shikamaru made his way towards a small pond he knew of. The thought of Sakura cutting herself alarmed him. There was definitely no chance someone did this to her because of the number of scars on her wrist and the initials HS craved on the blade. He sighed deeply, "Why do I always get wrapped up in this drama? Troublesome…"

He sat down by the edge of the misty lake and pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. "Hey Asuma," he asked, "What would you do if you were me?"

* * *

AN: I know it's been over a month since my last update… It's just well my life is hectic… I'm not gonna go into the details but it just is. So until after May 12th when I take my AP for history I'm gonna be kinda MIA for a while. Don't worry after that I'll be back to updating every one or two weeks hopefully.

I hope you all enjoy the update!

Oh and hopefully that clears up more of the whole Ino, Sasuke, Sakura issue. There is just a small part left but we won't be seeing that for a while since things are going to be a little more Shikamaru centered.

Also if this chapter seems a little rushed/OOC I'm sorry I wanted to give you guys an update soon and I'm seriously terrible at writing for Sasuke. I doubt I'll ever write SasuxSaku. Sadly to say even after all that research lol…

-Cloudy Girl

* * *

Review Shoutouts:

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and favorited! You all rule!

EvilFaerie17: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. So hopefully the explination explains some more stuff. Thank you for your continued support:D

ChiakitheHedgehogKoniochi: Thank you! It's alright everyone is busy. I'm glad to know you enjoyed that last chapter.

bluepen113: Well more Ino Sasuke and Sakura drama… It's ok personally if I were Sakura I would have killed those two but that's just me. Thank you for your support and I'm happy to hear you liked the chapter.

riptiderobin21: Thank you! I'm happy to say I have a C at the moment… Hopefully that grade will go up some more… OH YAY! I love permission! Thank you so much. That hopefully appear later on! Thank you again for your continued support. I'm happy to see that you liked the chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Cold Light  
Cloudy Skies

* * *

Shikamaru sat on the edge of the bank replaying all the facts in his head. 'What could have caused you to do this Sakura…' There were many possibilities that needed to be considered- so many different options and scenarios. Which one could have triggered Haruno Sakura's breakdown? 'Which one…' Shikamaru counted them off in his head

_Sasuke.  
Ino.  
Work.  
Stress.  
Sleeplessness.  
Loneliness._

He listed the first six obvious ones but there were so many more options 'There are too many possibilities to possibly figure one out.' Shikamaru let out a frustrated groan as he picked up the kunai he had grabbed hoping that it would provide some sort of clue. It was a plain old kunai with no real distinguishing marks except for an "S" carved into the blade. He assumed it stood for Sakura, although it could be for Sasuke or any other number of names. He let out another groan. This is exactly why he never got involved in situations like this they were too much trouble for his tastes.

The little nagging voice in his head wasn't helping either. It was saying that there was something missing- the key to this entire mess; Shikamaru couldn't put seem his finger on what that key was. He took one last drag on his cigarette letting the smoke swirl around him, enjoying the taste and then flicked the dying butt into the pond. Lazily his eyes watched as it was extinguished with a hiss and a small puff of smoke. He sank back into the damp dew covered grass and closed his eyes, "You know Asuma…"

* * *

Sakura let out a small cough and tugged the blanket around her closer. Her head was fuzzy and she was having difficultly thinking. Her body was thankful for the warmth of the blanket but when had she gotten a blanket? Her mind spun on this until she realized she never had gotten one. Emerald eyes flew open and looked down at the blanket. Forest green with slightly worn corners, she fingered the corner and felt something sewn in on the other side. Flipping over the blanket she saw the neat golden letters embroidered into the fabric, Nara Shikamaru. Panic suddenly filled Sakura.

She threw the blanket off of her in a hurry and caught site of the crisp clean bandages wrapped around her wrist. 'Those weren't there before… Oh shit...' Sakura sank back to the ground, 'Where is that kunai? Where the hell is it?'

"Whatcha doing Sakura-chan?" called a sing-song voice from behind her. She turned her head around to find Naruto standing over her.

Sakura rubbed her neck sheepishly, "I was… uhh… looking for my earring! Yes, that's it I was looking for my earring!"

'**Nice one idiot… You couldn't come up with anything better?**'

'I'd like to see you try.'

'**Gladly, let's switch.**'

'Heck no!'

"Sakura-chan, you don't wear earrings…" Sakura's eyes just widen at the blond boy.

"Heheh… You're right I don't… I must have been dreaming! I'm gonna go see everyone else now. Bye Naruto." Sakura waved goodbye and started power walking away from the very confused blond.

"What's up with her? Oh well maybe it's that time of the month or something." He shrugged his shoulders and walked into the woods to relieve nature's calling.

Sakura's hand tightened around her bandaged wrist. She clearly remembered the feeling the kunai slicing the skin and laying it beside her. So where was the kunai now? Sakura strode over to Neji and Tenten who were sitting by the fire.

"Ah morning Sakura!" waved Tenten brightly.

"Good morning." She glanced around, "Has anyone seen Shikamaru?"

"I think he went out of a walk. He left a note saying that he'd relieved you and that the perimeter was secure." Neji said as he poked at the fire with a long stick. "Do you want any breakfast?" he motioned towards the cakes and the tea.

Sakura gave them a fake smile, "No but thanks guys. I'll be back soon I need to go find Shikamaru."

* * *

Sakura hurried off searching for the shadow user. He was the only one who could have possibly taken her kunai. 'How could I have been so careless?' she berated herself. 'If only…'

'**But you didn't and now you'll have to live with the consequences. I swear you are incredibly stupid.**'

'Shut up! I don't need to hear from the likes of you.'

"So much for peace and quiet." said Shikamaru as several kunais flew through the air imbedding themselves in the ground around his body. He eyed one particularly close to his manhood with distaste. "That wasn't very nice Sakura." Shikamaru's coffee eyes focused on the protruding kunai. He withdrew it from the ground and threw it at Sakura; she caught it with perfect ease.

"Yes well I'd say we are even then. Now give it back Nara!"

He sighed shaking his head at the angry kunochi, "It's not my fault that you were careless with your secrets." He snapped back as he stood up from the ground throwing her "precious" kunai back to her.

Her eyes burned into his as they glared at each other. His jaw was drawn into a thin taught line; it was taking all the self-control he had not to snarl at the woman standing before him. Shikamaru felt his angry boiling at her reaction. She should be showing some gratitude some appreciation or something! But she was being nothing more than a grade A ice cube.

"There are you happy now 'oh great captain Sakura'?" he mocked at his superior. Sakura snapped at Shikamaru's insubordinate attitude and tackled him to the ground. Sakura's body was straddling his own across his stomach. She leaned down towards him so that their faces were inches apart. To anyone else this would have looked like an intimate moment between two lovers but the anger and the hurt burning in both of their eyes proved otherwise.

_she doesn't look, she doesn't see_

"Don't mock me Nara!" she spat. "I am still your leader for this mission."

_opens up for nobody_

"I have every right to. You have continually made all the wrong choices. You think I relish in watching you screw up, do you?" Shikamaru yelled back throwing all of this anger at her.

_figures out, she figures out_

"Screw you!" she punched the ground beside his head. "Like you haven't been doing the exact same thing!" Her voice was shaking with uncontrollable rage and Shikamaru was matching it line for line.

_narrow line, she can't decide_

"At least I don't try to hide it. What I do is my own god damn business. I'm not gonna stoop to interfering in your life, like the rest of you seem to be doing in mine. You clearly aren't ready for this!" he yelled back up at her.

_everything short of suicide_

Sakura's hand came flying down hitting him across the face with a resounding slap. "Go to hell for all I care."

_never hurts, nearly works_

"With pleasure." Shikamaru flipped them over so that he was on top of Sakura pinning her to the ground. He held her wrists above her head so that she couldn't slap him again. "Now listen and listen good. I'm not gonna tell anyone 'bout what I saw. I'm not that kinda guy. But listen here," Shikamaru brought his face close enough for their breaths to mingle together, "I will not put up with covering for all of your stupid mistakes." Tears were brimming in the corners of her eyes and Sakura was fighting to hold them back. Gaining leverage Sakura moved her leg out and kicked Shikamaru in the side and sent him flying to the edge of the pond. Quickly Sakura disappeared in a flash of pink leaving Shikamaru groaning beside the pond.

_something is scratching  
__its way out  
__something you want  
__to forget about_

_something is scratching  
__its way out  
__something you want  
__to forget about…_

Shikamaru just stayed on the ground, "I deserved that didn't I?" he said softly looking at Asuma's image that was standing before him. "I really did…" He knew that he shouldn't have gotten angry but there was a part of him that was smarting and it sure as hell wasn't his cheek or his side. "What have I done?"

* * *

AN: So I'd like to apologize for my lateness in updating but well school, APs, SATs, etc… It's fun stuff… I currently wrote this during my break from cramming chem in. I never realized how long AP tests were… But those are coming to a close and after May 13th I'm home free and we are back to regular updates!

So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I ended up rewriting it several times. This is my fourth version of it. Orginally it was 8 pages long but then I was listening to my "How to Save a Life" CD and heard the song "little house" and it just fit that scene between Shikamaru and Sakura perfectly so I changed it. This means I'll be updating later in the week with a much longer update and probably pictures of all the lovely villains since I spent a couple hours yesterday designing them.

So I hope this chapter didn't seem to out of it. I think it came out a bit jumpy and I feel like I made Shikamaru get mad for no reason and just messed up how I portrayed this chapter. So any positive or negative feedback that you guys could give me would be great.

Thank You!  
Cloudy

* * *

Review Shoutouts:

To all of you who read: I love you all and thank you!

bluepen113: I know it doesn't explain quite everything but… It's getting to that point. Thank you for your continued support.

Aloha.Laney: Not quite fluffy but definitely more Shika/Saku interaction. Ino and Sasuke will get what they deserve in the end. It always works like that. Thank you for the wonderful view.

riptiderobin21: Yeah Sasuke was OOC despite what I tried. I basically ended up with him as the stereotypical seems nice but really is sleezy boyfriend. I might go back later and try to fix him up a bit. Keeping the characters in character is not one of my strong points. Thank you for your continued insight.

EvilFaerie17: Yeah that's people's general consensus but you'll all find out later so now worries. Shikamaru can be helpful and kind though I think I made him a bit selfish and mean in this chapter though he'll be better later. Thank you for your support.

ChiakitheHedgehogKoniochi: As they say in the theater the show must go on. Or well in this case the story must go on! Thank you for the review.


	9. Chapter 9

Cold Light  
Cloudy Skies

* * *

The weather was dismal and cold. Shikamaru gave an involuntary shiver despite the warmth of his vest. Scowling he glared up at the sky silently cursing fate. The group had been in the mountains for two days already, and the weather consisted of rain, sleet, and dark moody clouds that threatened more rain. Basically the weather wasn't Shikamaru's favorite kind. Although he supposed he should be grateful that it wasn't snowing but still.

Normally Shikamaru wouldn't have bothered with the weather, but it's just the moistness of the air was aggravating his large poppy bruise that spanned across the side of his chest and stomach. He knew he deserved the high heeled boot print that was there, but it didn't mean that he wasn't angry about it. It was half of the girl's damn fault too. He let out an uncharacteristically long sigh.

"You know you'll start to get gray hair at the rate you're going." Neji said glancing over at his traveling partner.

Shikamaru glanced at him, "Who says I don't already Neji?"

The Hyguua let out a small chuckle. "Well I don't think you would be attracting the attention of our pink haired medic if you were."

Shikamaru's eyes widen for a moment and he flipped his head around to look at Sakura. 'What's Neji talking about…' wondered Shikamaru as he looked at the girl happily talking and laughing with Naruto and Tenten. "You know, Neji, maybe its time for you to get your eyes checked."

"There's nothing wrong with my eyes Nara."

"Then what where you talking about?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head over it." smirked Neji as he looked over at the disgusted shadow-nin.

Neji earned a strong punch on the arm and a glare, "I swear you are such an ass."

"I try. I try."

The two men slowed their approach and stopped at the top of the slope they had been climbing. "What's wrong Haruno?"

"Oh shit…" escaped from Neji's lips as he stared down at the valley below.

There wasn't a sign of a living creature below. The ground was scorched and there were bodies everywhere. The bodies of men, women, and children… Death seemed to linger in the valley.

The group proceeded with utmost caution carefully looking for any signs of traps or any enemy nin's. As they reached the end of the slope the stench from the destroyed village became unbearable.

Tenten leaned against the rock ledge as she empty all the contents of her stomach. Neji was kneeling next to her rubbing her back as she threw up. "I'm sorry." She said weakly glancing around at everyone.

"It's alright Tenten." Sakura said softly as she dug through her medical pack. "Here." Sakura held out a medical mask and a set of gloves. "Since we don't know what we are dealing with we all should be theses on to be on the safe side." Sakura removed several more sets of gloves and masks and handed them out to her team.

The village was as silent as the grave. The only sounds they heard were the crunching of their feet against the soil and the ominous howl of the wind as they continued. Sakura tried to fight back the rush of emotions that she was feeling as they searched through the village. "I'm going to go off ahead." She called back to Neji who just nodded in response.

She walked slowly through what must have been a small set of shops by the look of it, but it was hard to tell what all the ruined buildings could be. The mass of bodies was making the bile rise in her throat. Sakura might have been able to deal with them if they actually looked like bodies and not piles of burnt fleshed. As she reached the edge of the village the scorched areas started to dissipate. Sakura broke into a light run as she got to the very edge of the village where a small farmhouse was located. She checked the area for any traps and faced the door squarely. 'Ready or not… Here I go!' she kicked down the door with a bang. Sakura's eyes widen in horror and a scream rose in her throat and resonated through the deadly silent village.

* * *

The pen scratched against the paper as Sakura wrote.

_Hokage-sama,_

_We have made it as far as the village of __Motainsu. The village has been completely destroyed by the invaders. There are no survivors. Upon carefully examination I have determined the causes of death for many of the villages to be blunt force trauma, dismemberment, and being burned alive. All of the bodies are in horrific states and our team is giving the people of the village a proper burial. It appears the invaders came from the northeast. This could imply Sound's influence over them, although in my personal opinion I believe it to be unlikely. I feel the elders will not share my same views. We will be continuing along the mountain route until we reach Suna._

_- Haruno, S._

Sakura finished the letter with a flourish. She set the pen down beside her as her mind drifted back to the events of that afternoon. She hadn't meant to scream but everything had just come out. The family that lived in that house had been butchered. Their bodies chopped into pieces that were scattered everywhere. There was so much blood. There was just so much…

It was a moment of weakness on her part that she was not willing to repeat again.

_Never show emotions…_

She snorted thinking back to how many emotions she had shown.

_Your emotions leave you vulnerable to attacks._

She had been slightly shocked when Shikamaru's strong arms wrapped around her body holding her close as she cried. Naruto's arms joined his as well. 'They protected me…' she thought sadly, 'I should be the one protecting them…' She let out a quiet sob.

_Your emotions and relationships with others are the best weapons against you. _

_Such things only hold you back._

* * *

AN: Well congrats to anyone else who survived the SATs or the SAT iis. So this is my last update before APs. Which I'm cramming my brains out for. My first one is on Friday (US History. Good Luck to anyone taking it!) and I have 800 more pages to read by then. So I'm sorry if this is chapter is short.

I'll try to make a much longer one to make up for all of the shorter ones that I keep throwing in here.

I'm not sure if I should have added more detail to this one though. So if you could tell me if you want more in this one that would be a great help to me.

Oh also I'm thinking of chaning the genre from action/adventure to angst because i changed my orginal idea for the story and it has far less action/adventure and far more angst.

* * *

Review Shoutouts:

OMG! Thank you guys for reading. This chapter really took off and I got 40 reviews! And so may story alerts and favorites! You guys all rock! -

EvilFaerie17: Yeah I agree the fight set the mood for that scene. I'm glad to know that Shikamaru's anger fit the scence. Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it. And thank you for your continued support.

jahannah12: Thank you for the review and your input on the Shika/Saku fight. I'm glad you felt the anger was justifiable.

Aloha.Laney: Hello. So thank you for the review. Yeah Sakura really does have a short temper and Shikamaru has been bottling a lot of stuff up so you're right it fits. Yeah I'm sure everyone does understand schoolwork. It's so terrible and it never ends. Thank you for your understanding and support.

riptiderobin21: Yes more angst… One of these chapters there will be fluff. My goal is to have at least one REALLY FLUFFY chapter. It's my goal for this story. A bit grumpy haha definitely describes them. Thank you for your support. And hey good luck on your finals from hell. Those are always so troublesome.

it'sa me-a!: Thank you for support. I'll try to add Genma later on in the story if you want to see him.

bluepen113: Sakura with a deathnote would be kind of scary. Though you never know it could happen. Maybe I'll do a deathnote Sakura type story later and try that out. The idea's interesting. Thank you for the review.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

Cold Light  
Cloudy Skies 77

* * *

_Hokage-Sama,_

_It has been five days since we reached Motainsu. There has been no sign of the inhabitants of the villages surrounding Montains nor are there any signs of the invaders. We are proceeding towards the rendez-vous as instructed. We should reach the point in three more days. _

_-Haruno S._

Sakura signed her name with a flourish and tucked the scroll into her bag. She stretched and exited her tent. "We are heading out. I want everything packed and ready to go by the end of the hour."

"Right." the rest of the team nodded and set off to dismantling the camp.

Sakura started to walk out of the camp but a hand clamped around her wrist, "Where are you going?"

Sakura starred into Shikamaru's coffee colored eyes, "No where." she wrenched her wrist from his grasp, "Now if you'll excuse me." She stalked off out of the camp.

* * *

"Neji!"

"What?"

"Where is Sakura going?"

Neji snorted, "Concerned are we, Nara?" Neji cut Shikamaru off before he could speak, "It doesn't matter where she is going because she is captain for this mission and you should trust her judgment. Now give me a hand with the tent."

Shikamaru began to help Neji deconstruct the tent, though all the while his eyes were fixed on the trail Sakura had taken.

"Ouch!"

"Oh sorry Tenten." apologized Shikamaru.

"You know I don't get you Shikamaru. Seriously which role are you the overprotective vice-captain, father, or boyfriend?"

Shikamaru flushed at the mention of the last option, "Yeah Shikamaru," piped up Naruto, "you've been looking at her all funny too! What do you want with my Sakura-chan?"

"Nothing…" he muttered, "Can we just finish putting everything away."

Neji sent a smirk in Tenten's direction which she returned with a wide grin as she began to pack up Sakura's tent.

* * *

'The terrain is bearable, too many crevices and ledges to hide behind. We'll have to keep our defenses up just in case there is an ambush along the way. I definitely hate the narrowness of the trail...' Sakura tapped her forehead thoughtfully as she racked her brain trying to remember anything else she was supposed to check before the team headed out to Suna. She stood up with a flourish from the top of the peak she was sitting on. She moved stretched her arms cracking her neck and shoulders in the process. "Alright probably should head back now." Sakura jumped down and run back down the trail unaware of the pair of eyes trained on her retreating back.

"When are we gonna move?" an impatient voice sounded from a tree. The dark eyes trained on Sakura's back didn't more. "Soon. Soon." They left Sakura's back and focused on the woman speaking. "Have a little patience Venichi." The woman let out a growl of frustration in response.

"Alright are we all set?" called Sakura as she jumped down into the camp.

"Ready as ever Sakura-chan." cried Naruto as he bounded up to her with her pack in hand.

"Okay then. We need to reach the far peak by nightfall. Then proceed to Suna. The terrain is alright but it's perfect for traps and ambushes so I want everyone to be on guard. Neji, I need you in the lead with Tenten. You are our eyes and ears."

"Understood" A curt nod followed.

"Naruto you have the middle. Shikamaru and myself will bring up the rear. Now that is settled, let's move out now!"

The team set off on the trail and fell into a steady stride. Shikamaru shot a glance over at Sakura's stiff posture. They hadn't really spoken to each other since that morning on the lake shore. He shot another glance at her. Shikamaru couldn't help but look at her; there was something about Sakura that he was just drawn to. It was a sort of sick attraction—maybe it was because they were the same. Maybe it was because they were. No matter how many times they tore themselves apart, they always would try again.

"You know it's impolite to stare." she said not glancing over at him, her eyes trained ahead on the dirt road.

"I wasn't…"

"I can't expect you to understand and I don't think you will. You're probably holding on to this because you don't get it." Sakura's voice was strong but it wasn't harsh. It sounded worn out and tired. She turned to face Shikamaru, "When the time is right you'll have all your answers, but until then forget you saw anything."

* * *

Shikamaru watched as the smoke rose up into the dark sky. He let the breeze play against the back of his neck as he sat on the edge of the mountain. He glanced back at Sakura's sleeping form. Her pink hair seemed blonde in the fire light; she looked at peace with the world, something which he had yet to see. Shikamaru had to admit that he was shocked when Sakura had agreed to explain everything to him. Something about it was just so out of character it made him want to laugh. He took another long drag on his cigarette inhaling the smoke. The numbing sensations ran through his body alleviating the visible twitch in his hand. "Only if we could be as free as the clouds." he said letting a low chuckle. "If only… If only…" He considered it ironic in a way; the two best and brightest were the most self destructive.

Shikamaru felt it, the unmistakable spike in chakra. There was a loud crash and he watched in horror as the mountainside began to fall around him.

There were rocks flying in every which direction. Chaos was descending over their little camp site. Naruto dashed out from underneath the crumbling ledge only to be nearly hit by a boulder. Tenten had to tackle him to a ground to prevent him from becoming a pancake.

"Thanks Tenten." wheezed Naruto as the wind started to come back into him.

"Any time little guy." Tenten dashed away to join Neji who had just slumped to the ground, a kunai logged firmly in his leg.

"What the hell is going on here, Nara!" Sakura yelled as her black fisted gloves hit with another boulder causing it so shatter into a million smaller pieces.

"I don't know! I don't know!"

"You bastard! I told you to keep an eye out." Sakura's anger was boiling out of control. Her team was being separated and spread across the mountain. The thing that was upsetting her the most was Shikamaru was clearly high. His pupils were dilated and his eyes seems glazed over and not in the lack of sleep sense. She had warned him. She had told him. Now they were all in danger because of his mistake; the mistake that she had to now fix. The bodies of the enemy-nins went flying in every which way. They all crumbled before Sakura's super human strength. "Couldn't they have at least sent some guys worth fighting?" she grumbled as she sent one flying off the cliff.

* * *

"Well… Well… The great Nara Shikamaru… It is quite an honor," sneered the man as he made a mock bow.

"And I take it you aren't anyone of importance otherwise I would have heard of you at some point."

The man's sneer changed into a scowl. "I think it's time to blow this scene. Okay. Three… Two… One… Let's rock!" (1) he came running his hands flying through hand symbols. There was a loud crash from behind Shikamaru. He was barely able to dodge the spiked rock that came flying from the mountainside.

He rolled on the ground to avoid the spike, only to find about a hundred more spikes above him. "Oh shit…" he cried out as the spikes came hurtling down towards him. He dodged and weaved through the forest of raining spikes but his movements were sluggish and he was having difficulty getting through the waves of attacks unscathed.

"Look at how the mighty have fallen." the man laughed, "It's time to end this game Nara-san." He started to perform a new series of hand signs.

Shikamaru braced himself for the next attack. 'Left? Right? Above? Below!' He watched in horror as he was engulfed by a strong crystalline barrier. "What the hell!"

"It's my own special jutsu. Don't you like it? It's a barrier made from superheated carbon from the earth and its infused with my own chakra. The only way out is if I die. So it is just a matter of waiting and watching as you run out of air." he let out a laugh and brushed his black bangs out of his eyes.

"Not if I can help it."

He turned and his blue eyes widened in shock, "Haruno Sakura! It truly is a honor." he bowed. "As I was just explaining to your little friend over here," he jerked his thumb towards Shikamaru, "Unless you kill me Nara-san will die."

"I understand…"

"Asu, Asu Rokku."

"Well Asu-san, shall we begin then?" Sakura asked as pulled out on of the long stone spikes.

"Ladies first, Haruno-san. Ladies first."

"Here I go!" Sakura charged forward using the spike like a katana. She deftly struck and managed to get a small cut across his cheek.

"Clever. Not many have tried that before."

"En garde." he pulled a much larger spike from the ground and proceeded to attack Sakura with a flurry of strikes. "You are quite good." Asu panted in between strikes.

"I learned from one of the best."

"It's a pity though Haruno-san that I have to cut this so short; I was just staring to have fun but unfortunately Gan does not like to be kept waiting." Asu swung around and managed to grab a hold of Sakura's shoulders. He hand several one handed hand signs and Sakura watched in horror as Asu's blade grew and pierced her chest. She staggered a few steps back away from him. "It has been an honor." Asu repeated giving her a wave.

"Heh…" Sakura laughed, "I'm afraid you have underestimated me." Sakura lunged forward and surged the rest of her chakra into her first. Sakura punched him as hard as she could and sent him flying into the spiked stone cliff. She watched as the light left his eyes and Asu died. Sakura slumped forward and fell backwards on the ground.

Shikamaru broke free from the barrier with a small paper bomb and ran to her side. "Sakura!"

Sakura's breathing was heavy and labored; her eyes were dull and beginning to glaze over. She turned her head towards him "Shikamaru?" she coughed and Shikamaru could only stare at the blood on her hand.

"Yeah, Sakura, it's me. C'mon you have to hand in there just a bit longer." He tried to keep his voice steady but it was hard enough to keep a weak smile there.

"I'm… I'm sorry I couldn't help you," she coughed harder this time, "I guess you won't get your answers after all.

"I don't need them Sakura. Just stay with me now!" he grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze. "C'mon I know you can do that. Just stay with me!"

"Tell everyone that I love them and I was happy to have met them. Tell Kakashi that I'm sorry for breaking my promise to him. He won't be happy with me."

Shikamaru was shaking and he could feel the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as he gazed at Sakura, "No!" he cried out his voice cracking, "You can tell them that!"

She smiled the most beautiful smile up at him. "Tell him…" her voice trailed off and she began to cough again, "Tell him… I'll always love him." She smiled softly up at him and Shikamaru felt the tears flow as Sakura closed her eyes.

"SAKURA!"

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or 'Tank'

* * *

NOTES:

1: Yes that is from 'Tank' from Cowboy Bebop. I felt like using it.

* * *

AN: Well… I know it has been ages… And I'm so so so sorry for the long update time… I've had a hectic past couple of months… I lost my hard drive not once but twice… So I lost all my progress with Cold Light and the sequel for Book Shoppe. So I'm starting everything from scratch. I was in Italy, I had SATs, APs, Finals, I started working again… My life is currently crazy.

So I'm on a mad rush to update today because tomorrow morning I'm leaving on a three week college tour of the country… I need to figure out where I want to go to school. So I won't be updating for 2.5 weeks. While I'm on the road I'll write the next chapter.

And I haven't edited this b/c I wanted to get it up before I left… So please forgive any mistakes…

And fight scenes aren't my specialty so I apologize for the crappy-ness of it.

OH and Shika/Saku will most likely begin next chapter so stay tuned!

* * *

Review Shoutouts:

Thanks to everyone who read and added me! You guys make this all worth-while!

Aloha.Laney: Yay! I'm glad you liked the Neji and Shikamaru scene. I had a lot of fun writing that one. I always pictured their friendship to be kinda like that. Hopefully I can throw in more Shika/Saku moments in the upcoming chapters. Thank you so much for your continued support! It's really encouraging!

Regin: I'm sorry this update was so long and I'm very excited to hear that you loved it that much. Thank you for the support!

Lady of Dreams and Nightmares: Ahh yes I quite agree with you. I don't think anyone would really want to be Sakura in that chapter. Thank you for the review!

riptiderobin21: Well we are getting to the point where both Shikamaru and Sakura will face their problems and solve them… but I won't say anymore… Thank you for your continued support and I'm glad you liked the chapter!

EvilFaerie17: Ok phew… won't worry about rewriting that section. Ahhh you bring up a really really really good question… I am hoping to start the Shika/Saku stuff in the next chapter if not the chapter after that. It won't be all of the sudden "omg I love you" sorta thing but gradual build up.


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